Kids' father had child with ex

Elle - posted on 07/16/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi, I've found this site on google and loved hearing all different answers with moms' questions! Maybe y'all can give me some sound advice, please?

My kids' dad and I have been on-and-off for 9 years now - he was with a girl whom he lived with for about 2 years. All the while he wanted to get back together, but I didn't give in until last year. Well, somewhere after we got back together they were messing around and she got pregnant. I didn't find out until she was 5 months along. We split up in late January of this year and he went back to her "because he had nowhere else to stay" and was there for the birth of the baby, but begged to come home and he left her after the baby was about a month old. There is a lot of history in-between. We met while she was pregnant on my request to discuss the situation moving forward and I requested that there be a paternity test before my kids met the baby and she was all for it at the time. Now that they are no longer together, she has filed for CS and has told him not to fight for visitation because the baby is "not allowed around Elle".

My question is, can she request that, and would a judge actually entertain that? Her friends and her have sent me ugly texts and posted comments online towards me, but I haven't responded once and there's no legitimate reason why she would want me away from the baby other than she's just bitter.

Advice, please?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/16/2014

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support and visitation are two separate issues, Serene, and in order to get visitation, the biological parent must request that. It is not 'automatically' granted to those paying support.

Serene - posted on 07/16/2014

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There is No way that she can try to keep him away from his child. I would make him take a DNA test before he pays CS. If he does end up paying CS thhe judge will give him Visitations rights. In order for him not to get them, she would have to prove that he is an unfit parent. Which is hard to do.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/16/2014

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No parent has the right to keep the child from the other biological parent, unless there is a proven danger to the child. If she attempts to, it can be considered an attempt at parental alienation, which is a big deal.

Make sure that your partner has an attorney and that he's requesting his rights.

User - posted on 07/16/2014

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So, really, without any solid reason, she's not allowed to "keep him away", right?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/16/2014

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She'll have a rude awakening when the child's father petitions for visitation or partial custody, then won't she?

The courts will make sure that there are provisions for visitation/custody/support. Make sure he petitions.

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