kids not willing to get ready for school

Teri - posted on 04/15/2015 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I have a 12,8,5 years old and my 8 yr. Old has ADHD and autism and he don't want to go to school. He crys a lot cause he don't want to go. And my 5 yr old don't want to get up and get dressed for school. So I tried everything and nothing works. I need help cause it hurts to fight with them to get ready. I lost my mom whrlen I was young so I can't ask her and I never had that one person to trust as a mom. So please help!! I need to know what to do.

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Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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It sounds like your 8 year old may benefit from a one on one aide... see if you can get that into his IEP. As for the 5 year old... don't fight. When it's time to go it's time to go... no matter what state of dress or undress the child is in. Go ahead and just pick the kid up and put him (her? you don't say...) in the car... you can bring the clothes if the child is not yet dressed and they can choose to get dressed before getting out of the car (or you carrying them out of the car). It shouldn't take long for the 5 year old to get the point. You just have to stay calm and matter of fact about it all. Don't engage in a fight. Just say... this is what we are doing, and make it happen.

Good luck!!!

Chana - posted on 04/15/2015

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It is the law that children go to school no parent wants to fight with their children every morning to go to school. They do get days off they are called weekends, holidays, ACT 80 days and summer vacation.

Sarah - posted on 04/15/2015

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Try getting every detail set the night before, what to where, what to eat, backpacks ready etc. Over the weekend explain to your kids that their "job" is to go to school and learn and you expect them to comply. To help break the current routine of resistance; try some positive external reinforcement. Get some poker chips, they are cheap and highly visual. For every day that they get up and leave without a fuss, they can put a token in a container when they get home. Leave the container out where they can see it and be proud of each success. Once they earn five chips, allow an extra hour of TV, or a special choice for dinner. Something simple but something they will want to achieve. Some kids just need a nudge and once they see that being obedient is a better choice, you can stop the rewarding.

Chana - posted on 04/15/2015

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It helps to have a routine especially with a child with autism and also the 5 year old. Try getting them on a schedule with a routine for bedtime that could include getting a bath, snack, brushing teeth, getting out their clothes for the next morning, etc. Then you also need a morning routine so that they know what is going to happen. If your 5 year old doesn't want to get up maybe he needs to go to bed earlier, he might jut be tired. A morning routine would need to include things like getting up, making the bed, getting dressed, washing face, brushing teeth, getting breakfast, whatever they need to do in the morning. I don't know if you do this or if it will even help but I know keeping my girls in a routine/schedule helps and when we get off that schedule or routine they can get irritable. I would also want to know why the 8 year old doesn't want to go to school; is he having trouble, is he being bullied, etc. Just some thoughts and I hope this helps.

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Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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Does she have anxiety about the bus ride for some reason though?

I don't know... none of my kids ride the bus under middle school.

Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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Don't make the bus driver wait... stick her clothes in her backpack and put her on the bus (let the school know you are doing to do this).... or any day that you have to drive her... she has to 'pay' you for the gas and time by giving up any privileges (like TV time) and doing chores for the rest of the day when she gets home from school.

Teri - posted on 04/15/2015

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We don't fight like that. I just keep telling her she needs to get dress or she will miss the bus but she said she don't care she thinks I should just drive her there so I try not to give in and make her and tell the bus driver they have to wait.

Teri - posted on 04/15/2015

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That's what I meant they do get those days off and it makes it worse to go back I agree kids do need that and we do too!! That's are time.

Chana - posted on 04/15/2015

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Sorry Teri I really don't know what else to tell you. I know routine is very important in my house and it seems like you have tried that and it isn't working. Maybe giving consequences for not getting up and ready for school without a fight. I don't know it might help. I would talk to the school again, if your son is being picked on they need to know what is going on.

Teri - posted on 04/15/2015

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I had a rooting for all my kids under 12 year old but it seems like its always a fight even if I get them in bed by 730 8 o'clock we still wake up and fight against me to get ready for school I don't know if it's just because they don't want to go school or if they just want to be home with me cuz I'm a stay home mom. and my 8 year old I talk to the school about what is going on with him and are saying that he is not being bullied in school but they were going to watch out for him. He does come home a lot saying that he is being picked on and I said something to the school they did nothing to help me he said that he has to make sure he tells them.you know he is autistic and ADHD so he's in a special needs class but he said a lot of the stuff goes on at recess and the school said the teachers watch for the kids and they're not seeing anything going on. I do iep meetings at the school with his teacher and the teacher said that he is struggling with his work in school maybe I should just move in different school

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