Kids pictures on Facebook by ex's gf

Dana - posted on 03/12/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My exhusband's girlfriend made a picture of her family, my ex, and my kids her profile picture. I find it offensive and disrespectful.

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Trisha - posted on 03/12/2015

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Your exhusband's girlfriend is just trying to make your children feel involved and loved. I understand that it feels like she is trying to acquire your family and take over your spot, but I can almost guarantee that is not the case. She is likely just trying to make them feel welcome, and not stressed by her arrival into your families lives.

Your best bet is to just delete/block her from your facebook so that you can't see what is going on if you can't help but snoop.

Do what is best for your children and don't hold any hostility towards this person. She will likely be part of your family's lives no matter what you want.

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Trisha - posted on 03/13/2015

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Agreed. Had I known this extra information, I would have responded in a completely different manner.

Michelle - posted on 03/13/2015

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Maybe you should have written your reply in the OP as well. You would have got completely different answers.
If your children are the ones that don't want their photo on FB then they should be able to tell their Father or his GF and get them taken down.

Raye - posted on 03/13/2015

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So, maybe mention it to the ex that the family rule is that images don't get posted to social media unless discussed with the people that are in those pictures. It's better to be safe than sorry. You don't want your kids privacy to be infringed upon and there could be pedophiles looking out for information on kids through social media.

Dana - posted on 03/12/2015

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A friend of mine pointed it out to me. My children are all teenagers and we have a pact that I do not post pictures of them without discussing it with them on social media. My children are unaware of the post in Fb. I discussed it with my oldest, who was not in the picture. She said if she had been in it she would have been upset. My ex does not have a Fb and probably doesn't know about the picture. This woman has an issue with boundaries and has done other things in the past to prove so. I also have someone in my life who has 5 kids of his own. I do not put pictures on Fb or other venues out of respect for their mother. I don't assume they want them on social media and we talk about it. They all feel the same way I do. Don't kid yourselves...my ex is an extremely wealthy man and this woman does want to fill my shoes. She can have him and the expensive shoes. My children on the other hand, will always be our children. I understand being in a step parent role and only want the same courtesy I extend.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/12/2015

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Sounds to me like she and your ex got a family picture done, and rather than exclude his 1/2 of the family, she did the mature thing and included everyone.

Why are you friends with her on FB anyway?

Ev - posted on 03/12/2015

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I do not see a problem with it if it was done as a whole family as you described with her, your ex and all the children. I have seen some posts like this about a picture done by the GF or BF with the kids and a caption added saying something like look at my kids when they were not theirs to start with. She is part of their lives now. And what if she became their step mom? What then? Are you going to have a fit about that and make her not be in pictures with them then?

Jodi - posted on 03/12/2015

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I agree with the others. What you are describing here is a family picture. She considers them family. And family photos often go onto facebook.

Consider how you would react if your children came home and said that she wouldn't allow them in the family photos that were taken while they were there.

I think you are overreacting.

Raye - posted on 03/12/2015

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Dana, let me ask you a question... do you want your kids' dad to bring someone into their lives that would neglect them or treat them badly? My guess is no. So why get upset that the person he has chosen actually wants to be involved and care for your kids?

It's a double edged sword for us women who date/marry men with children. We're hated by the mom if we don't care about the kids and we're hated if we do. It's really hard to do everything perfectly so that we care for the kids but don't ever do anything to upset the mom. Personally I do not post things to FB that talk about or show my step-kids. I am "friends" with the ex on FB, and I don't want to be disrespectful. If I get any good pics of the kids, I will text them to my husband who will share them with their mom and/or post them to FB on his account.

If you want to say something about it, just mention (without getting too upset) to your ex that you found his girlfriend's picture disrespectful and ask him to ask her to please remove it. But if she doesn't, don't go flying off the handle. Try to accept that the woman genuinely cares about your kids while they are with their father, and try not to interfere.

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