Kids with behavior problems?

Kayla - posted on 09/10/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have 3 kids, ages 6, 7, and 9. Lately, my husband and I have been having problems with all three disobeying, being disruptive, and lacking on their responsibilities. We have tried just about everything punishment wise, except for spanking (we are against spanking).



Behavior issues include lying, stealing, and refusing or giving less than half effort on homework or classwork, being disruptive in class, destroying personal property (cutting clothing with scissors), refusal to do chores, sneaking food into their bedrooms(they get 3 meals a day plus snacks in between), being abusive toward other children (hitting, biting, or kicking), and disobeying/defying simple rules that have been in place for years.



We have taken them off of any sport or extra curricular activities (which they LOVE to do), made them write lines (writing a statement 100+ times in cursive and print related to action done wrong), taken toys and electronic privleges, banned from friends houses (mostly for the stealing), and stopped any weekly allowance (money given for chores/good behavior that could be spent any way they choose).



My husband and I are at a loss. The kids have been repremended at school on several occasions this year alone. We are starting to feel like failures as parents. We don't know what else to do. PLEASE HELP?!?!?

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Kayla - posted on 09/10/2012

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Thank You for your post, Michelle!

We have tried a positive behavior/reward system. We implemented the same system our local schools use (the behavior wheel/stop light system) to try to cut down on confusion between home and school. We ended up with the same problems we did when we began. More often than not the kids were on blue and red at the end of the day...the bad days outnumbering the good. We have simply run out of things to take away from them. We have taken away tv privleges, game nights, family outings, friends sleepovers, and allowance yet the behavior stays the same or intensifies. We do give positive reinforcement/rewards for the good days, but end up taking it back the next day because the behavior resumes. Our heads are beating against a wall!

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2012

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I am going to say you need to focus your attention at the top your 9 year is setting an example for the other two so if you can get him to tow the line the others should follow. He is old enough for you to sit him down and explain to him that his behavior is not acceptable and he needs to be setting a better example for his younger siblings. Get him a behavior chart and start charting his progress when he gets a certain number days of good behavior reward him. Do the same with the other two. Rewards for good behavior can be an hour of tv or electronics something or that nature so that they have to behave all day before they can do what they want. The big reward can be a big family outing.

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