Labour room decisions. Please help me!

Casskimmins1989 - posted on 11/17/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi there, my babies dad and I are not in a relationship anymore. We have been up and down my entire pregnancy (im 24 weeks now) but we going great now. I had planned to have him and my mum in the birthing suite with me. He has just told me that he wants it to only be me and him. I understand where he is coming from, and I think it would be nice aswell, but... my mum has been my main support network since our separation (when I was 3 weeks pregnant) and will continue to be after the baby is born, (he lives 45minutes away) so I dont feel right asking her to step aside for this. My mum was present for my first labour. And she was a great help. I dont want to sound immature, but I would love for this to be just me and him (maybe it will bring us back together) but im scared my mum will be upset. What should I do?


~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/18/2015




You are only 24 weeks. There is a lot of time left for many different kinds of changes. You don't need to decide now. NOR should you be forced to. You can have whoever you NEED in the suite with you. If that is your mom, great. If it is him, fine. If it is both, more power to you. No one should be in there if you don't want them, even if you change your mind while in labor.

Raye - posted on 11/18/2015




Don't try to get back together with him at this time. You're hormonal from the baby and need to get your thoughts/feelings in order and concentrate on the health and well being of the child before getting involved with anyone right now. Do not use this baby to try to trap him in a relationship because that usually turns out very badly.

It's really your decision who you have in the delivery room. You want someone you can count on for support, and not someone that will make you more stressed out. Whatever you decide, seems like someone may be upset. Try to explain to them that it's nothing personal, but that you really need to concentrate on the baby and what's going to make you more comfortable.

As an unwed parent, once the baby is born, you need to go to court and get custody established for yourself and visitation set up for the father. This is not to be mean or retaliate against him for not being committed to the relationship. This is a protection for you and the baby if things don't work out between you and the baby's father. This will let each person know what their legal rights are. If you decide you're not going to be in a relationship, you still have to co-parent, and part of the father's legal responsibility is child support. So, if you're not in a relationship, you should file for child support. If you haven't done these things for your first child, you should.


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Dove - posted on 11/18/2015




It's your birth...the final decision is entirely up to you.

But since you asked... Considering that the two of you have been up and down through the entire pregnancy already and the pregnancy is just slightly more than halfway done... Your mom is the right person to have there w/ you. If you are not in a relationship w/ this man... don't have him there on the hopes that it will bring you two back together. Only have him there if you want him there regardless of what your relationship is or is not.

The birth isn't about your relationship... it isn't even really about your baby (though your baby is obviously the one being born)... it's about you and only you and what is in YOUR personal best interest. After the baby is born it becomes about the baby and his/her relationship w/ both you and his/her father.

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