LAST NAME

Megan - posted on 12/05/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

8

0

0

Hello I have a bit of a situation my husband has just found out about a child he has after 13 years the child last name legally is xxxxx but he goes by the mothers married last name which is bbbbb is this legal apparently he knows his real last name but doesn't know yet who his real father is? We are in the process of telling him. Please give me advice.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/06/2013

13,207

21

2014

well the kid's legal name is what's on the birth certificate. If mom doesn't want to petition for change, then it would be up to your husband, and if its anything like what we did for the name change for our son, it will have to be a court issue.

Which means that, if anyone protests the change, you'll all get to go before a judge to have the decision made.

ETA: I don't care about your personal business, actually, but to get an accurate answer, you have to be willing to provide background. Having been in the position that you are in, I can confidently say that before he was docked for support for the second child, he WAS notified. They have to notify you when they're docking your pay, or making changes to the amount. There's no way he did NOT know about this child for 13 years. Just FYI.

11 Comments

View replies by

Megan - posted on 12/09/2013

8

0

0

Thanks for the info but he was in the service so even if he was notified was sent to wrong address

Megan - posted on 12/05/2013

8

0

0

We are the ones who contacted the mother the mother doesn't want to tell the child. She has been with her husband since she was pregnant she left my husband for that man if it's your concern and my husband knew of the kid but thought that guy was the father and was in the military so he was never in that state during his child hood nothing

Megan - posted on 12/05/2013

8

0

0

He did "just find out" I didn't come here for anyone to pry into my business I asked for an answer to a question that's all He is using the Stepfathers name I don't think you understand my question he knows nothing of my husband yet!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/05/2013

13,207

21

2014

So, as far as the legality of him using the step dad's name...His legal name is what's on his birth certificate, and it doesn't have to have anything to do with the biological parents.

If the kid wants to use his biological father's name, then he & dad will need to contact your state department of vital records. Those folks there will tell them how to go about the name change.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/05/2013

13,207

21

2014

Then, I'm sorry, Megan, but he didn't "just find out" At first you made it sound as if mom appeared out of the blue after 13 years and said "this is your kid". If paternity was established, he was aware of the child.

Now, if Dad wants visitation, he needs to petition the courts. And if dad wants visitation, he'd probably better be prepared to pay support, including back support. (just so you know, the courts can decide to do that)

If he wants to be in the kid's life, and wants to take responsibility, thats awesome, and he should be allowed to do so.

Megan - posted on 12/05/2013

8

0

0

Ok so yeah she has know this whole time who the real father was and when my husband and I did a child support Audit we found out he was paying for two kids not one he has always been in his daughters life. They used DNA on file from his daughter to confirm paternity shes been getting money every month for her son his daughter has a different mom. Paternity was established thru using DNA on file from his daughter which has a different mom. Anyways we don't really care whatever happened in past now we are trying to establish a relationship with the son and now figuring out his last name is her husbands last name not legally but that's what hes going by she says it's not legal but I need laws like where do I find this I have already tried google and everything

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/05/2013

13,207

21

2014

so...how did this come about? It is suspicious to me that he never had a clue that he had a kid.

Unfortunately, if you live in the US, statute of limitations is up to request a paternity test. If the "step" dad's name is on the birth certificate, and the woman's never told the "bio" dad about the kid, then I doubt anything can be done now.

Personally, regardless of the statute of limitations on paternity tests, I'd still want to make sure there's a DNA connection...otherwise she could just be out for money.

[momoftwo] - posted on 12/05/2013

441

0

116

Omg wow what a messed up individual. Has she known this whole time? Don't be surprised if the child starts resenting her because she made him think that THAT man was his real father omg. That is absolutely terrible. That happened to someone I know and she was DEVISTATED. We were just kids and even I cried with her. :(

Megan - posted on 12/05/2013

8

0

0

Yeah we think so but legally the name is her last name. The child has no idea of his real father he thinks his real father is her husband and goes by her husbands last name

[momoftwo] - posted on 12/05/2013

441

0

116

Yeah it doesn't matter who's last name the child has but is she going to let your hubby be a part of the child's life?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms