Last Name Decisions

Harley - posted on 03/05/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Im having trouble trying to decide rather to hyphenate the babys last name or to just give him my last name?? The father is going to be in the picture (we are not togeather though) and understandably wants his son to have his last name, but since the baby will be in my care I want him to have my last name since he is my child too, so I thought about hyphenating it. But then i got to reading and I cant decide if i just want to give him my last name only to make things easier. Says that traveling, school, and medical things aremuch more difficult with a hyphenated name, also when he get married, the woman is not going to want 2 or 3 last names? and what about his childrens last names??.. Idk, im very conflicted, has anyone ever had experiances with this before?

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Raye - posted on 03/09/2015

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It's a very personal decision. If I were unmarried with a child, I think I would want it to have my last name. And yes, it can be changed later if it's decided to do so. Where I live, it's $150 and you have to publish a notice of name change, so if you're a criminal or people need to track you down later, there's public record of it.

Sarah - posted on 03/07/2015

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I have students, that have last names that are like sentences. It is definitely a tough choice. I don't know what I'd do, but don't base your choice on what will happen when your son marries, etc. Do what feels right for you today.

KeepingupwiththeRobles - posted on 03/05/2015

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I think to hyphenate the last name is a good idea. I think there are certain rules with hyphenating a last name, I dont think legally you have to use both all the time. However I am not quite sure. It is something I heard awhile ago when a girlfriend of mine was discussing a similar scenario to me. There is nothing wrong with the baby having both last names. I think if he is going to be an active Father than it would be wrong to exclude his last name all together, having both is a nice idea.

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Harley - posted on 03/08/2015

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That was what I was questioning, if when he gets older, how difficult would it be if he should decide to drop one of the last names... good to know that it isnt difficult.

Harley - posted on 03/08/2015

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Its a good thought, but the names really dont flow as middle and last, it would either have to be hyphenated or only one.

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2015

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Or like someone else suggested, use 1 name for his middle name and the other for his surname.
My middle name is a very unique name and is very rarely used but we can trace our family history because of it.
That's just another alternative.

Jodi - posted on 03/05/2015

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I know a family who had the children's names hyphenated so that they could have both names. The children eventually decided just to go by dad's name.

I'm not sure why you think a hyphenated name makes it hard for travel, school and medical - they never had any issues with it. Your son can decide later, then, whether to keep the hyphenated name, or just go by one or the other. it won't be difficult for him to change it legally should he wish to.

Trisha - posted on 03/05/2015

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Hard to say for sure. My husband has his father's name, but has never met him. My husband did briefly consider taking my name when we got married, but as he already had a son that had his last name he decided not to.
My hubby isn't pleased that he is carrying on this last name, when he doesn't have any association with that family. BUT if the father is going to be a part of this childs life, I would just give him the father's name.
When your child hits adulthood, he will have the ability to change his name to yours, or take his wife's name, as strange as that might be.
It is interesting to note, that BOTH of my husband's (my ex and my current) considered taking my name rather than me taking theirs.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/05/2015

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I wouldn't know what I would do either. When I got married, I almost didn't change my last name, but I knew I wanted my kids to have his. In the end, I wanted us all to have the same last name. This is a tough decision. How far along are you?

If the father is going to be in the picture, legally from what I understand, everything is easier if the kid has the fathers name....not sure how it is in every state though. But as long as he is on the birth certificate it should make things less complicated. Personally, I do know I wouldn't hyphenate. That is just to much for a young kid growing up and writing that on every paper.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/05/2015

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Is your baby a boy or a girl?? The reason I ask is because in many cultures, girls use the moms last name as a middle name and the dads name as a last. Or they will not have a middle name, and when they get married, they will use their maiden name as their middle, and their married name as their last. Interesting, and thought may be helpful.

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