Tonya - posted on 06/12/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )
I think I just need a place to tell my story to some women that may possibly understand how completely devastated I am.
I have two sons, first born at 37 weeks, 2nd went in to labor at 21 weeks which was stopped with Brethane and Terbutaline, I was also given two steroid injections 24 hours apart for my son's lungs. I took Terbutaline for the duration of that second pregnancy and made it to 36 weeks.
In February I found out I was pregnant (middle of the month) 2 weeks later I was in a car accident and was admitted for free fluid in my abdomen. They couldn't do a catscan so we never really figured out what it was, but I was released the next day. 2 weeks later I was spotting and went to the ER and diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage.
I continued to spot off and on throughout the pregnancy. The first day of my 19th week I was having some pains and spotting and went to L&D. They put me on the monitor did a pelvic, checked the baby and SHE, my first girl...was doing great. The following week at 19 w 5 days I began having regular contractions ever 3 minutes, lost my mucus plug and made my way to L&D after calling my physician. I was put on a monitor they saw contractions, but they only checked me with a speculum twice and both times said my cervix was thick and closed tight (no pelvic). My contractions were becoming unbearably painful. Finally after 2 hours the attending came in and did a pelvic exam and said I was 4 cm dilated and she was sorry but I was going to deliver. No time for pain relief (they gave me .4 of dilaudid but it did nothing.) I was still in triage at this point when they then decided to move me to a delivery room. A resident checked me right before we left that room and said she could feel the sac. We began down the hall and I yelled that I had so much pressure. All of the sudden as we are making our way down the hall from under the blanket I feel this volcanic eruption of liquid and my baby. I felt her wiggle between my legs. As soon as we were in the room they uncovered me, did a few things and then cut her umbilical cord. She was amazingly little but looked perfectly formed. My husband and I held her and cried. She lived an amazing 4 hours. The hurt is so horrible. She is my angel and my princess. I love her so much it kills me inside. They can't determine what went wrong. I am over 35. They said stillbirth despite her living for 4 hours and said I had delivery mental disorder (duh).
Sorry this is so long, but I just needed to let it out. Thanks to all of you and hoping to hear from mom's that have experienced something similar.