Lazy 9year old only son

Saisudha - posted on 08/10/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 10 years old and he is a cricket player. Though he is a player, he is not doing any of his works like self bathing, self dressing, self eating etc. Please anyone advise the way to make him active. Also he is not so free type and very reserved.

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Jodi - posted on 08/11/2015

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So you continue to enable him. How about he just go hungry or go undressed? That will cure him! Honestly, I would NOT be feeding or dressing him. How on earth do you expect him to do it himself if you just keep doing it for him?

And he is 9. Of course he needs reminding. At that age, I put a list up on my son's bedroom door of the things he MUST do before he does anything else (1) when he gets up in the morning and (2) when he gets home from school. Yes, these lists included, have a shower or get dressed or have a snack. It helped get him into a routine. However, there was no way I was going to do these things FOR him. Let me tell you, the one time he didn't get dressed when he should have, he has never repeated - going to school in PJs is not a great look.

The only way you are going to put a stop to this behaviour that you clearly have a problem with is to stop enabling it.

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Sarah - posted on 08/10/2015

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Wait a minute. He's nine and does not dress or feed himself? There is something else going on other than laziness. A child capable of playing cricket can feed himself or go without and dress himself or leave the house in his pajamas. Some kids are reluctant bathers, once they get in a routine that usually helps. At worst, a friend or teammate will comment on his dirty hair or body odor and that should motivate him to bathe. Why do you continue to enable him?

Saisudha - posted on 08/10/2015

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Ya. I always tell him to do these things. But he never listens. Even if he listens, he does only that time. Next time I have to tell him. Every time I feed him, I dress him etc due to time constraints.

Jodi - posted on 08/10/2015

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I'm curious....are you reminding him to do these things and asking him to do these things and he just won't do them? And if he isn't "self-eating" who is feeding him? If he isn't "self-dressing" who is dressing him? It is sounding to me like he needs some parenting. Children aren't generally self-starters....they need you to stop enabling them.

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