[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )
I'm 21 and have no children of my own but I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend who has an 8 year old daughter. I'm currently living with him and his daughter. I've become very close to her and we have a great relationship. I have 2 major problems that I do need advise on tho. One, I'm trying to figure out how to balance being a stepmom and being 21. Its becoming very difficult because my life has gone from partying and hanging out with friends to Disney movies and family weekends. My friends feel like I don't spend enough time with them because I'm busy cooking dinner, playing with my stepdaughter, being a girlfriend, being a daughter, being a worker at my job, being a student at my university. So it does become difficult to balance. My second issue is my stepdaughters mother she is 23 and has seemed to bother me more than anything else in my life. She has not gotten over her ex my current boyfriend and dislikes me a lot for coming into his life and her daughters life. I completely understand her side as far as not taking her spot as a mother which I would never do and how shes frustrated with all these changes. She keeps in contact by text messages which really bother me because I feel like I need to constantly check my boyfriends phone the minute he gets home to see if she said anything inappropriate or rude. I've thought about asking her to talk with me so that we can discuss some of the problems that were having so that we can be on the same page for the child.
I don't like to say I'm jealous or insure but having to deal with your boyfriends ex is a lot harder then it seemed. I just wish we could be ok with each other I mean we don't have to like each other but we do need to be polite for the child. Obviously as you can see I'm lost in these areas and feel like I'm the only one. I talk to my boyfriend about this and he tells me to just not let it get to me but it continues to. I have no worry what so ever that my boyfriend has any feelings for his ex that is not a problem what so ever thank God. But there are times where get sad because having a baby and going through a pregnancy is such an intimate and special thing to share with someone else and to think my boyfriends already done that is heart wrenching because it makes me feel like our experience is going to be less than because it was not his first. Am I wrong to think this? Besides all this my boyfriend and I are great he's the best man I've ever dated and treats me like a queen so I'm very happy there and he backs me up and supports me in front of his ex so I'm glad he tells her that I'm here and she needs to realize that I'm not going anywhere.
I defiantly need some advise because this is very hard to handle on my own I get depressed a lot and my moods are constantly changing.