Leaving baby for a week to go on vacation, good or bad?

Jessica - posted on 03/26/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )




Hi moms! I have a 7 month old daughter and my husband and I are going on vacation for a week next month. I was hesitant at first to do it but my husband finally convinced me. Im super excited to relax and have a chance to reconnect with my hubby but I also cant help but feel so guilty for leaving her. We've started leaving her with her grandmother on the weekends so she can get used to be being away from us, but staying one weekend is very different then a full week. I completely trust my mother in law with her and I know she will spoil my little girl as much as I do but I just cant help but think the worst and feel so guilty. I plan on skyping with her everyday, I dont know how much that will help my daughter, I think it is more for my peace of mind than anything else. Is my little girl going to forget me? Is she going to think i abandoned her? Has anyone else left their baby for a week? And how did your little one do? Any advice is very much appreciated!!


Daniell - posted on 03/28/2013




In the end, it is what you can handle that is the good idea. Let me speak from my experience. I have and 11 year old son and a 7 year old daughter. It is way harder to leave the first child than future children. Your child will not forget about you. Time to them is an iffy subject. I think at that young of an age, they can't tell the difference if you are gone for 1 hour or 1 week. And as you said, you have been "training" her to get used to grandma, and that grandma will take excellent care of her. My own opinion, is that a happy couple make for a happy family. This is a great opportunity to re-connect with your husband. We did leave our son for a week when he was 2 and a half. He was fine, excited to see us when we got back, and now at 11 never remembered that we were gone. And on a side note, I think it is healthy for your daughter to be with others caregivers everynow and then.

Stacy - posted on 03/28/2013




You (and she!) will be fine! Do NOT let others make you feel bad about it. I had to leave my 9 month old (who had major health problems) for a week in order to go to my sister's wedding. It was really tough for me, but I asked for a written update daily (if auntie had time!), little snap shots or if she could email short videos. I think Skyp-ing would be hard, but then you could see her (you might get frustrated when she keeps wanting to run away and play instead!). She will COMPLETELY remember you when you get back and want lots of cuddles and attention. Plan on giving her both :) Good luck. Keep in mind how lucky you are that you have family you ARE comfortable leaving your child with!!! Relax and enjoy yourself (and sleeping!!!).

Barbara - posted on 03/29/2013




Due to a death in the family I had to fly out of LA and go to Colorado for several days when my daughter was small. My cousin and I had to make final arrangements for our cousin killed in a car accident. My daughter stayed with my mom for the entire time and I called her morning and evening before we left our hotel room to see funeral directors and lawyers. There is no doubt that it was more stressful for me than it was for her. She loved staying with her Grammie for the time I was away, but I could hear the 'miss you mommy' in her voice in the evenings just before she went to bed. I sang her favorite song over the phone and her Grandma read her one of her favorite books, but she needed the routine of her own bed in her own home. Your daughter is much younger, mine was four years old, she still had her play dates at pre-school, and of course, Grammie spoiled her with McDonalds and other treats. We had a small map of Colorado showing where we landed, where we were driving to once we picked up the rental car and where we were staying in a hotel marked on the map so it would help my daughter understand how far away we were from California. In some ways it ended up being a special bonding time between Grandma and grand daughter and I think it has served them well these ten years later. In our case is wasn't optimum because of the need involved, but I think it was an opportunity for the two generations to connect in a special way. Make sure her grandma has her routine down, the special little things that you do for her, cinnamon on her cereal, a favorite book she enjoys, her stuffed animal (my daughter went NO WHERE without her favorite Eyeore!) Keep the departure light and happy, no tears until you are in the car away from her and reassure her while gone that you miss her and will be back very soon to go back home. Bring her a little trinket from your trip - nothing major - and make the homecoming special for all of you, including Grandma, with a trip to a yogurt place or some other festive place you all enjoy. Above all, relax and have fun while gone, she will be fine with Grandma!

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Children are very resilient, and if she is comfortable with your in-laws all the better. I think it will be a great time for you to reconnect with you husband after having a child, and inviting another person into your relationship. And also it gives the grandparents time to connect with your child. I have been flying my son home to my parents house for 2 weeks every year for his whole life. He is now 6 and has an amazing relationship with my parents. They have special vacation time together every year. It is great for my son to grow in his independence and confidence away from his father and I. It has also been great for my parents. They are actively involved in his life and get to play a great role with modeling healthy, long term relationships and what that looks like to my boy. It is also great for my husband and I. We get to be spontaneous, take day trips around town and spend time with other couples that would otherwise need a lot of planning. I would encourage you to go for it.

Side Note: Some kids don't do good talking on the phone. Skype is great but she may not respond they way she normally would, that is normal it took my son about a year to look at the person he was talking to on skype instead of looking at the video of himself making funny faces. I can't get him to talk on the phone unless he is trying to get out of going to bed. lol Skype is a great tool and if it will give you peace of mind absolutely use it, just keep in mind you daughter is not going to understand hearing you and not being able to touch you at first.

Kelsey - posted on 03/26/2013




My baby boy is almost a year, and he has never left my side. The day after he turns one, will be his first court ordered overnight from me. I think I would go insane if I was gone from my baby that long. I agree with Dove, with searching for an alternative. But if you feel like leaving your baby is okay then there's nothing to worry about.


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Rian - posted on 03/29/2013




You and your husband need this time together, it is very important. Take advantage of any opportunity you can to get away with your husband, especially now that you have a kid. I left my 4 month old with my mother so my husband and I could go to Vegas for 4 days and celebrate my sister's birthday. I was so happy I did, it helped us connect after being apart for so long (with the pregnancy and dealing with a new baby). She will be fine and it is more important to have happy parents who love and connect with each other. Good luck and have a great time.

Jessica - posted on 03/27/2013




Thanks moms for the advice! I am realizing that every family is different and every child is different. And if I feel comfortable with my decision then I shouldn't second guess myself, since I know whats best for my baby. But as a first time mom sometimes its good to hear other moms opinions. Thanks again!

Jodi - posted on 03/27/2013




I travelled a lot for my job when my son was young. Sometimes only overnight, sometimes a few days, occasionally a week. I don't see the issue as long as your child is with someone you trust, someone he is comfortable with, and you have a plan for any emergencies in place.

My son is now 15 1/2 and he is no worse for it. It certainly won't damage your child.

Dove - posted on 03/26/2013




The first time I ever left a child for that long.... he was almost 3 and it was court ordered visitation. I couldn't/wouldn't do it for an infant except under life and death circumstances... and I'd still search for an alternative. I don't even do any single overnights under 2 years old though.

That's not to say you are wrong... Different families have different boundaries when it comes to this sort of thing. She won't forget you and she will be ok. She may or may not have a period of trouble once you get back, but life will get back to normal for all of you again.

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