Leaving my daughter for the first time

Annie Matilda - posted on 08/03/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )




My daughter, Emma was born on February 19th, which means she is just about 5½ months old.
I think everyone in my life knows how much I love being a mother and how much it's taken for me to become a mother.

I am 29 years old and I have three sisters aged 38, 35 & 31 so I am the youngest. They have 9 kids together and with my daughter, there are now 10 grandchildren.
Every year since my sister Catherine had her daughter, Leona we have made a big deal out of getting away for a weekend once a year, just all of us girls with no kids.
We've been to NYC, Mexico, Tahoe and tons of places, where we've gotten closer and spent that quality time together.

Now, for me things have changed a bit. I have a daughter and a really young one but my sisters are beginning to talk more and more about the trip and teasing me about, when we'll leave. My sister Julia is the one in charge of the next destination but I hadn't thought too much about it before she found a trip for us.

I have only left my daughter to go to the gym, which is a total of 2-2½ hours of being away and that's the only thing that I leave my daughter for and only in the care of my husband. I don't know if I tie our bonds too tight or is it perfectly normal to not want to leave your 5 month old for a weekend?

When did you leave your son/daughter for the very first time? When did you leave him/her for more than a day for the first time?

Should I go on this trip, which will most like be in the beginning of October or should I ask my sisters to back off and push it off till next year?


Dove - posted on 08/03/2012




None of my kids have been away from me over night until they were 2... almost 3. At 5 months old the longest I was away from any of them was 4 hours and that was once. Typically under a year it wouldn't be for more than 3 hours max.

I would never choose to leave a child under 2 over night. That's just me though.

Kelina - posted on 08/03/2012




Sherri is right but if you're breastfeeding remember that an extended trip will likely be the end of breastfeeding.

Sherri - posted on 08/03/2012




Only you can decide that. Is it the right time and are you ready or not?


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Julie - posted on 08/08/2012




I'm going through something very similar! My son was born on Feb 18 and my anniversary is Oct 23 so I've been contemplating going away with my husband. The longest I would want to go away is one night and I can't seem to commit to that. I'm right there with you-it just doesn't feel right. I do wonder if I'll be ready in October but have to make plans soon (as you have to make a decision now so your sisters can make plans). I'm also concerened if I'll be able to relax. So although I can't answer your questions, you aren't alone. I totally understand! And we're allowed to feel this way. Good luck! Hopefully we can be at peace with whatever we decide to do...

Annie Matilda - posted on 08/04/2012




Okay! :)
Thank you! I like having all these different thoughts on the issue.. I know I would survive and I know my daughter would be perfectly fine in her daddy's care but it's just SO soon.
I'm not sure I would even enjoy this trip and would find myself on the phone 24/7. I know I could go home anytime but that would be like abandoning my sisters in the middle of it all, then rather go next year.
My husband suggested taking Emma and maybe that would be easier but I guess that would result in a lot of staying in and not being very adventurous with an 8 month old.

Amy - posted on 08/03/2012




I had to go away for a business trip when my daughter was 7 months old. Not going was not an option, it was hard for me to leave but I was ok once I got to where I was going. I was gone for 4 days, I pumped and dumped while I was away and my daughter happily went back to breastfeeding when I returned.

If you aren't comfortable tell your sisters that you aren't ready to go this year so you'll be staying home but next October you will be there wherever they decide your going.

Annie Matilda - posted on 08/03/2012




I don't think I am.. If I truly was ready, I wouldn't second guess myself.
The reason I am is because I know how much this trip means to all of us and I know they've all taken this trip after having kids, as well.

As far as the breastfeeding, I planned on pumping even if it isn't used just so I won't ruin that. I will be pumping before hand, so there'll be bottles for her at home.
This will come in handy when I am ready to leave for night but I just don't think I'm there.

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