Leaving my daughter's father

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

My daughter is 2 years old and I have been with her father almost 4 years now. I was born and raised in Florida, our daughter was born there also. Her father was born and raised in Tennessee. When our daughter was almost 1, we all moved up here to tennessee because we thought it would be "better" for her.

Her father and I have had problems since day one. Yelling, screaming, name calling, door slamming, wall punching, etc, etc etc. I thought moving up here would help our relationship but it didn't.

He is finally making the effort to try and be the man I need but I honestly have been out of love with him for so long, it doesn't even matter. I'm never excited to see him, I never want him to touch me, and dread even thinking of spending my whole life with him.

If we were to break up, my only option would be to move back to Florida. I don't know anyone else in Tennessee and don't think I could make it all on my own with a toddler, at least not right away. I don't want to keep my daughter from her father by any means, I want to encourage the relationship as much as I can. But I do not want to stay in Tennessee and definitely don't want to be with him.

Given those circumstances, am I terrible person for wanting to leave and go to another state with our child? I feel so guilty but at the same time, if my daughter ever found herself in a similar situation when she is an adult, I would want her to follow her heart and do what makes her happy, not be with someone she doesn't want to be with or stay in a state she doesn't want to be in where she is isolated from every one she knows. Ugghhhh, I've never had to make such a big decision before. Help?! :(


Jodi - posted on 10/13/2014




No, not a terrible person, but if you leave without his permission, you "could" be stopped or potentially lose custody, depending on the laws where you live. You need to talk to a lawyer because this is not something you want to do without knowing your legal position. People have lost custody for moving the child without permission of the other parent.

Florence - posted on 10/13/2014




Come on home! I live in Florida too. I can't imagine living in a loveless relationship. And yes, you can make iron your own. But on your way home, stop by the child support office and take care of business. Your baby has to eat. Best to file there before returning home. No worries. You will not be keeping your child from her dad. That part is up to him. The same road that leads from FL to TN, will take him from TN to FL to see his child. It's not your job, it's his, so let him do it and if he doesn't then it's his cross to bear.


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