Leaving state? What do you think?

Diane - posted on 05/07/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I wasn't really getting answers anywhere else, so I thought I'd try here!

I'm 20 and my husband is active duty military. He's being stationed in Texas (I live in NYC).

My sons father will not/does not agree to let me leave state.
He hasn't had a job for 2 1/2 years, since my son has been born basically. He provides nothing.
He lives in a dirty/filthy home, someone else living in the home has been accused of molesting his niece. He is not listed as a sex offender, but has to take classes.
They have many CPS cases.

Leaving state offers so much for me and my son.

Do you think a judge would ever agree with letting me leave? It would be temporary too, 3 years max. Then we would move back home (NYC). I'm so scared to take this court, for only a jude to tell me no.

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Amy - posted on 05/08/2012

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Well child support has nothing to do with visitation so it doesn't matter that he hasn't paid any money. The other thing you should think of if you are going to go to court to say the house is not safe, it doesn't make sense that you would be comfortable sending him for two weeks every summer.

I would contact a lawyer but I would think its going to be difficult to leave since right now your ex sees him every other weekend and unless you plan on flying your son every other weekend it may be hard to get a judge to go along with it.

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Laura - posted on 05/09/2012

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Actually it depends on your area...it is taken into consideration (and weighed heavily) in my area.

Amy - posted on 05/08/2012

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No I didn't say you should have to pay for everything I'm just letting you know that most judges aren't going to take that into consideration when they're dealing with visitation or custody.

Diane - posted on 05/08/2012

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He doesn't support his son. He pays for NOTHING. So basically, I should have to pay for everything? I don't think that's fair at all. I think child support should play a role in this.

The house isn't safe. But I was hoping a judge seeing that I'm not trying to take away my son from him, with no contact ect. and intact trying to work out some sort of visitation with him.

Diane - posted on 05/08/2012

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I agree, he's never provided anything. He refuses to work too, he's so lazy.
I can't afford to do it all on my own anymore, my husband could give us a much better life.

Diane - posted on 05/08/2012

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There is CPS cases on everyone living in the home. Not exactly on the father, but the house really isn't suitable for my son.
When I first took my sons father to court (for visitation), the CPS worker did tell me there was proof on the molestation case.

I'm hoping the judge will see that I'm not trying to completely take aways his rights, I agreed I'd pay for visitations.

Diane - posted on 05/08/2012

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I told my sons father, I would fly our son (on my expense) to visit. I also said he could have him for 2 weeks in the summer.
He won't agree to it though.

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This is a tough question honestly, however burden of proof is on you. As long as biological is making an effort to see your son, and this person has not been convicted(if he has to take classes something happened) it may be denied. CPS cases, against him? You have to prove this really is the best thing for your son, I have a feeling a judge will find in your favor. I wish you luck and hope for the best. Have you ever approached bio about letting your husband adopt your son? It sounds to me like for everyone this would be the best choice.

Michelle - posted on 05/07/2012

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A judge would more than likely let you move they would just mandate that you have to help pay the cost of the child seeing the father.

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