Leaving your childs father because you aren't in love anymore

Rachel - posted on 09/01/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )

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So my childs father and I have been separated for about 5 months now. We were together a little over 4 years. We dated for a year and a half and then I got pregnant. When I got pregnant we had broken up for a month or so because he didn't love me. We got back together since I was pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing by staying with me I guess in his eyes. We had our son and now he is 2 1/2. RIght before he turned 2 he proposed to me and I said yes. We got a house together and I wanted to be happy so bad, but I was miserable on the inside. For the past 2 years that we had our son he was not loving or caring to me much at all. We lived together for 3 of the 4 years we were together. (Once I got pregnant I moved in with him) When I was pregnant if I didn't feel good he never tried to be sweet or take care of me I just remember him always saying you'll be ok. Once we had our son we were fine but then after about his first birthday things just started getting bad. In my head by his 2nd birthday we were done even though we were engaged. He verbally abused me I think by always making me feel like less of a person and talked very degrading to me making me feel dumb in front of other people and feeling unwanted by never kissing or touching me or holding me at night. I would have to pretty much ask him to kiss me or to hold me in bed. We slept together every night and most nights hardly touched. He said he was under a lot of stress during the last 6 months of our relationship because he hated his job, he was starting up a new business, and we had just bought a house and he was fixing it up. Couple of other things that you need to know. I am a Christian and he is not. I grew up in Christian home and he was not raised in church. It is a big deal to me and I want my son raised in a Christian home he cared nothing about going to church with me when we were together. I would get ready and beg him to come and finally last minute he would get up. But other days I would not go because he didn't want to. I felt like he did nothing but drag me down and make me miserable. We fought all the time. I am very outgoing and he is not. Our personalities are very different. MY friends felt like he hated them and never wanted to hang out. When we did things with friends I went alone most of the time. At this point I have left him. I met a guy I started talking to that made me feel so much better and made me feel like I should be treated. I left my fiancé moved out and back in with my parents. Me and the other guy aren't together, but I miss him and feel like I want to be with him, but I also miss my family and seeing my son every day. My baby daddy when he doesn't get his way has said some very mean and cruel things to hurt me, but says he does it because he gets so upset and he is so hurt. I am stuck because I feel like I want to move on with my life and not be with him, but I feel like I am hurting my son by not going back to him. He is begging for me back and saying he will change and he took me forgranted and he wants to show me that he will treat me right. But, I feel like he has had plenty of chances when we were together. I told him every few months how unhappy I was and that I needed more love and attention, because I am very needy and he ignored it. He said he thought I was just bitching. Any thoughts or ideas? I want a Christian man who can help make me a better person and raise my children in church. Is it worth trying and possibly wasting more time with him after I have been with him 4 years and I felt like it took him 4 years to ask to marry me? I wanted to get married when I was pregnant and he didn't. What should I do???

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