Maya - posted on 07/13/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am currently 2 months pregnant. Let me start by saying that despite all the negative crap, I am irrevocably in love with my baby. OK. So, I was with my ex for about 3years. This person swore his love for me and made promises of commitment. He proposed to me in February (4months ago).We went through a lot together and our love seemed to be unconditional. I found out that I was pregnant, so the same day I told him, I was so excited! There was no doubt in my mind that we would be in this together and strong just like we always had. He seemed surprised but then we had sex... It seemed like his way of saying thank you for this blessing/gift , i love you... When really it was just goodbye. After the sex we went to eat, came home. He then began to say that I needed to have an abortion. I was angry so I stormed into the house ignoring him(we live together). I was very hurt but considered it for a bit then lashed out saying many angry things. He came back and began packing everything that was his and said he was leaving me... I practically begged this guy to reconsider. It was my lowest point, I hate that he saw me like that. I said I don't have to keep the baby if he is not ready to be a father but he stopped me and said he was leaving because he doesn't love me. I was crushed seeing as he had just told me that same day how much he loves me, how he will never leave me, promised ge wouldn't... And then tried to do JUST THAT. I was so pathetic, I scrambled my mind to get it together and outsmart this BOY and told him if he could please at least stay here at our home while I decide what to do about the baby(keep it, abortion, adoption). He agreed and is still living here. He still acts like he may want something but I just don't trust him. We are not together and he has belittled me and humiliated me telling me that the reason he doesn't love me is because I got pregnant. That he thought he loved me and that he knew what he wanted but that when he found out that he realized he did not want to be "stuck" with me forever. I feel like I'm dying. He hugs me all the time and tries kissing me and rubs my belly(although I am not showing yet)... I have decided to keep my baby but I have no support from family at all. Only his family and him and honestly it's just not enough. I'm so depressed and so confused. I am trying to be a better person and keeping the peace but it is just so hard. Should I continue this way? What advice can anyone give to someone in my shoes?? He doesn't come home sometimes now and I just do not know who this evil person is and am astonished at how I could be such a fool 😞
Why do people act out like this? This will be my first baby and I just feel so lost, rejected and alone. His family is amazing... I just feel unbelievably alone always. I am a strong person but I am human and so afraid of being a single mother. Please help.