Left the father of my unborn child...i need advice!

Chelsea - posted on 09/12/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I left the father of my newborn child because the father was trashy and all he really wanted was sex all the time. I also left because his mother told me that all a relationship is is sex...so im glad i left! Anyways, the house he lives in is nasty i mean the dog craps all over the floor whenever he wants to, the cat does the same thing and her liter box is usually never cleaned, the house stinks whenever its not freshly cleaned, and they have cockroaches. i mean i dont want my child to be around any of that. Well i have someone new now and he is willing to step up and be the man in my childs life. well my ex doesnt think i should have someone else and that he should been in the babys life no matter what even if i move out of state in a few months. i dont know what i should do does anyone have any advice on this?!

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Gwen - posted on 09/13/2012

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Like the others have said, he does have rights to his child. You will need to go to court to establish custody and visitation.



My concern is the fact that you left that man and already have a new one in your life "who is ready to step up..." What happens when he decides to leave? I would use great caution in bringing men in and out of your life. You are a mother now. Your baby comes first. I think you should use this time to focus MORE on making sound financial, educational, emotional decisions for your baby's future, and LESS time jumping from one relationship to another looking for a father.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

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Really? A man wanting sex all the time? Who knew?



Seriously though, your ex is right. He does have rights to his child. It's not YOUR child. You both have rights. And you don't have the right to decide whether he can have a role in his child's life. That is why there is a Family Court.

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Sally - posted on 09/13/2012

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The father has the right to know his child and the child has the right to know their father. You cannot change that just because you want to play happy familys with another man. If the house is unclean then you could request visits happen elsewhere. The sex thing is not an issue where the child is concerned.. The best thing you can do for your child is help them to have a strong, loving relationship with their father unless you have safety concerns, if that is the case the court will decide what visits he gets but its very rare for a court to stop contact completely.

Get a lawyer and start sorting things now and make sure you claim child support.



Edit: spelling

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2012

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You have every right to move on with your life, but your child also has a right to know his/her father. It isn't about you or your wants, but about your child's rights. You can request visitation in a clean environment, but you don't have a right to erase him out of your child's life just because you don't like his house or has different views on sex than you do. Unless he is abusive or doing drugs around your child, you have little hopes in erasing him as your child's father.

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