"Letting go" of almost 20 yr old daughter

Patti - posted on 04/28/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My "dream" daughter, (she never gets in trouble, great student, active in our church, helpful at home, shares what is going on in her life, asks our advice), has been away at college and was to be coming home for the summer. I was really looking forward to having her back home. (She is my 3rd of 4 kids)
However, she has decided to move directly into an apartment, and totally out of our home. While I am happy for her, I feel so sad for me! I know she needs to be her own person and this is actually a good step, but how do I handle this change of feeling unneeded?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/28/2015

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If she's the 3rd of 4, how did you handle it when the older two did the same?

Personally? When my eldest indicated he was ready, and demonstrated the same, I was excited for him, and glad he was ready to move forward on his own with his life :) and he did that when he was 18... Yes, I miss him at times, but he stays in great contact (still uses my laundry room...LOL) and I'm happy that I gave him the tools to be a great adult.

Ev - posted on 04/28/2015

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How did you do it when the other older two left home? Surely, you can look back and take comfort in how that worked out if they succeeded in moving out on their own. I hope that they did. My own children are both adults not and my 18 year old has exercised his independent nature before leaving his high school years. He graduates this year but he has shown me that he can take care of himself and he is respectful enough to do what he wants and let me know that he is at least safe and so on. Help and support her is what we as parents can best do for our kids.

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