Nicole O' - posted on 11/03/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
I hope you're all well!
This is my first time posting and I am quite desperate for some advice.
I moved to Australia (from Ireland) 1.5 years ago with my now 4yo son to be with my boyfriend (not my sons father).
We have been living together for the past 1.5 years and we have had ups and downs like many couples but the downs are more often.
I am totally alone over here bar my son my bf goes out every weekend missing for nights and days doing drugs and partying (30yo) he collects my son from daycare Monday to Friday as I work full time and he always keeps me aware that he does this.
We have zero intimacy the last time we had sex was 6 months ago, the last time we kissed with tongues was the summer of 2013 I am 23 and without being egotistical not a bad catch, I am funny (a stupid kind of funny), passionate and a fitness advocate so my body isn't that bad either, my BF doesn't have a bar of me he cuts me off if I talk about something or talks over me to announce something he wants to talk about (usually his appearance, his clothes, some clothes he wants to buy, or his friends).
Sometimes he puts effort in we'll have a great day out but we can't last together longer than one day of activities before it all goes up in flames, he tells me he can't stand me, I am a loser, he hates me, I am a geebag really nasty things that I would be nothing without him I would be in Ireland hating life.
Some of these obscenities happen on front of my son (I know I am a terrible mum) last week he blew up out of nowhere he through over our bedroom cabinet and ran and me screaming at me for what felt like a lifetime, my son was on the bed screaming crying and my sister in Ireland accidentally heard everything as my son sat on my phone, she said she got a fright when she heard my BF screaming my poor son being in this house that I need to come home asap. I know I should go home but it breaks my heart what if I regret moving home?
What if I regret it forever?
What if I stay and my son thinks this is a model relationship and thinks he can treat girls the same?
I have money to go home well I will in 2 weeks when I get paid, I feel like I am leaving my bf in a bad whole he paid so much money for our visa's to be here and now I am just up and leaving.
He really cares for my son I know he does and my son must care a lot for him he's lived with him for 1.5 years but then again will they both move on and get over it?
I am at war with myself about this decision, I have no friends here other than work friends who I can't divulge this personal information to, my sisters opinion is just to come home.
I would have to go back to living in my mum and dads until I get on my feet again is this whole thing super disturbing to my child?