Living with crazy mother in law, help?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

My husband and I just moved back to Arizona, where his family is, from Iowa, where mine is. Anyway, we are supposed to be getting our own place in a month and a half but we are living with his parents and brother and sister at the moment. My husbAnd's name is Joe and his mom drives me insane. She acts like she's my baby's mother. She thinks she knows what's best for him and what he needs. We have tried to tell her to back off a little but she doesn't listen, she's the type of person who thinks she's right about everything. She is a very loud, obnoxious, immature Hispanic woman. I am Hispanic as well so I'm used to loud and obnoxious but this lady takes it to another level. My baby always wants to be held and I'm trying to break that habit so he doesn't cry every time I put him down. Sometimes I will just let him cry because he really doesn't need to be held 24/7 but if he cries for awhile Joe's mom will just come pick him up and bring him to her room. She doesn't work and literally has nothing better to do. I know I'm kind of bashing her but that doesn't mean I don't like her at all, she does have some good qualities but she just irritates me all the time. Sometimes her kids will have to make her give me my baby because she won't let go when I try to get him. Then she laughs like she thinks it's funny. She also acts like my baby likes her more than he likes me. So stupid.
I get so homesick because I just get so frustrated with him family. I know my best option is to leave her house but I'm stuck here until our place is ready in hopefully a month and a half. Ughh how will I get through this?!

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Jodi - posted on 05/27/2014

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Wow, Amelia, maybe you need to learn to grow up a little. Little Miss's response was not the least bit rude and was actually very polite. This site IS about supporting mothers and giving advice, but it doesn't mean everyone will give you advice you want to hear. You asked how to get through it and Little Miss's advice was actually very practical. It's only for a month and a half.

The way you decided to personally attack Little Miss because she disagreed with what you were doing (she didn't personally attack you, she commented on your post in a way you just didn't agree with) indicates a lack of maturity in being open to constructive advice. Personal atttacks (name calling, referring to someone the way you did) aren't acceptable on any level. If you are that upset by Little Miss's comment, maybe you need to learn to stop taking constructive advice so personally. Is this how you react when your mother in law tries to help????

Little Miss is right. Leaving babies to cry DOES affect the development of their neural pathways. There is nothing wrong with an infant crying just because they want to be held - pick them up and hold them. Picking them up at these times is actually a positive and helps develop neural connections necessary to become a well rounded adult. Research shows that leaving babies to cry can have negative impact on their attachments in later life. Do some research into the attachment theory of child development and read the research on crying it out. That might help you understand better that Little Miss was actually stating something factual.

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[deleted account]

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Clearly you are not even trying to understand where I'm coming from. I joined this group to be able to discuss and vent, not to get bitchy responses from ignorant people. Please do not comment on my posts again.

It is 100% okay to let your child cry if he just wants to be held sometime. Obviously YOU had some issues with your mental development since you didn't know that.

I'm pretty sure this group's main purpose is for mothers to support one another, not to be obnoxious and annoying like you are. If you don't like what I post then don't comment. You don't know the whole story and I'm not obligated to share it. Evidently you know nothing about parenting and I feel horrible for the spawn you mothered.

Your comment did nothing but upset me. Clearly you don't have a life or any self esteem or you wouldn't be on here trying to bring people down when you should be doing the exact opposite.

By the looks of your picture, I'm sure that your parents were siblings or something of the sort. So I will not let my first interaction on this site with someone who's not all there make me loose my faith in all the other mothers.

Never speak to me again. GOOD bye

[deleted account]

Clearly you are not even trying to understand where I'm coming from. I joined this group to be able to discuss and vent, not to get bitchy responses from ignorant people. Please do not comment on my posts again.
It is 100% okay to let your child cry if he just wants to be held sometime. Obviously YOU had some issues with your mental development since you didn't know that.
I'm pretty sure this group's main purpose is for mothers to support one another, not to be obnoxious and annoying like you are. If you don't like what I post then don't comment. You don't know the whole story and I'm not obligated to share it. Evidently you know nothing about parenting and I feel horrible for the spawn you mothered.
Your comment did nothing but upset me. Clearly you don't have a life or any self esteem or you wouldn't be on here trying to bring people down when you should be doing the exact opposite.
By the looks of your picture, I'm sure that your parents were siblings or something of the sort. So I will not let my first interaction on this site with someone who's not all there make me loose my faith in all the other mothers.
Never speak to me again. GOOD bye

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/26/2014

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How about you get through it gratefully. She has opened her home to you so your family could have a place to live. Also, letting a baby cry is NOT good to do. She is 100% right not letting your baby cry. The only way for a baby to communicate is to cry. You are ignoring your baby.

Your MIL probably doesn't like you as much as you don't like her. Start cutting her some slack cause she is gonna be around for a long time. Just as much as you think she thinks she knows everything, you also think YOU know everything. You are a new mom. Take some quwes from a women that raised your husband. That does not mean to do everything like her, but pick up your baby when he is crying. Geesh. What you are doing is crying it out. Not good for babies mental development.

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