lonely

Chineattra - posted on 10/07/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband left for basic two days ago and I can't seem to get myself together. I'm always crying like somebody died. I can't shake it. Nothing anybody says makes it better. I'm so so so sad. I don't want to fall into depression. My mom and brother are with us but I still feel so alone. How is that possible? I can't eat, think, I just want to sleep. This is not normal for me because I'm usually upbeat, funny, talkative person. I miss him soooooooo much until it seems unbearable. How can I get over this for myself and our kids?

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Chet - posted on 10/07/2014

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Yeah. Give it a week or two. You're sad right now because it's a sad time. You should start to bounce back a bit at a time, and basic training isn't that long.

I know this is hard, but you're very fortunate to have such a strong relationship with your partner.

Chineattra - posted on 10/07/2014

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Thanks for responding to me. I didn't think this would be so hard. He's my best friend. Everybody is telling that after a week or two it'll get better but I can't see it.

Chet - posted on 10/07/2014

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It's only been two days! Take a little bit of time to be sad. Pressuring yourself to get over this and move on like it isn't a major life event isn't going to help.

I don't know how much time your husband has to stay in touch. The people I know who've been through basic had zero time in the beginning, and they weren't allowed access to mobile phones or computers. They were pretty cut off. Maybe you could start writing a journal to your husband just to get your thoughts and feelings out, and to tell him the things you'd tell him if he were there. And I'm assuming you can send him letters even if he might not have time to answer them.

My husband has had to go away to work a couple of times. It always helped me to send him lots of emails during the day. He didn't necessarily have time to read them or to respond right away, but it felt good for me to be keeping him in the loop.

If after a couple of weeks you're finding that you can't function, and things aren't getting better, it's probably time to talk to your doctor. But after just 48 hours I'd say that the way you're feeling is normal. You must love your husband very much and be very close with him.

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