lonely and depressed

Stephbakich - posted on 07/12/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone.
I'm a 26yo sahm with a three month old and a 2yo. I went back to work after having my eldest daughter only to find out on the first day back I was pregnant again. Lately I have been feeling so lonely and depressed. My husband works 6 days a week and I feel like I literally spend the day waiting for him yo come home. I'm very luck to have such a wonderful husband and my girls are so wonderful too. Financially we are good and we are sll in good health. I have absolutely no reason to feel this way but I do. I find my self obsessing about my weight... I'm not even that big, currently 70kg and was 60kg when I got married. I find myself msking excuses not to leave the house. My poor kids sometimes get stuck in front of the tv all day coz I just can't bting myself to get out and do something like it's just too hard. Just wanted to get it off my chest and don't feel like I can talk to my friends about it and don't want my husband to be worried.

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Guest - posted on 07/13/2014

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You need to get out of the house. It is very easy as a sahm to fall into this routine of doing nothing because there really is no accountability. If you are used to working for a boss or for clients with deadlines that keep you in check. the freedom of being a sahm and not having to do anything at any certain time can be overwhelming and we find ourselves putting things off for too long, then before we know it, just the idea of packing up and running to the grocery store is overwhelming because we haven't done it in so long.

Make commitments for yourself that you need to follow through with. Call a friend with kids to meet up at the park for tea or coffee while the kids play. Join a mommy book club where you will attend and host meetings and others will look forward to seeing you. I don't know what kind of volunteer work you are currently doing, but if it is something you do from home, try to shift focus to an area that will get you out of the house and talking to other people.

The more you get out and socialize, the easier getting out will be, AND the better you will feel about yourself. The reason you are obsessing over the extra 10kg is because you have nothing else to obsess over--no goals or commitments--and obsessing over weight is easy because you can do it from home. Unfortunately, obsessing over your weight will only hurt your self esteem, causing even more weight gain, and even less socialization, so it is a downward spiral. Instead of focusing on your weight, focus on your LIFE--focus on eating healthy foods, not because you want to lose weight, but because they taste good and make you feel good, focus on getting out of the house, not for exercise, but because it gives your life purpose. Once you begin doing that, the weight will fall to the level that is healthiest for you.

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Anne - posted on 07/14/2014

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Thank you for sharing your struggles. It's a brave and strong step. You have received good advice from other replies. It's important for you to state how you fee to your husband or doctor. Perhaps together you can find support systems in your community or health care. I would urge you to contue to seek support. The more you connect with others with similiar feelings, the more you will realize it's very normal and that you are not alone. All the best!

Gena - posted on 07/13/2014

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I agree with Guest,its not always easy being a sahm. It sounds like you need to get some more activity in your daily routin.Or actualy something that you can do on your own. Ask your husband or a family member to look after the kids and go take a course in something you are interested to. I went to a course to learn how to make my own body lotions and a course to learn how to make jewerly. Its only 10 times 1and a half hours once a week...but it realy helped me to get some Me time and to do something different. Atm i am learning a new language and i am looking for an online program to learn something. I started all of this after my mom told me my brain is getting bored and under stimulated..might sound weird,in German it makes more sense :) and try getting your older daughter involved with things you do all day,like the washing etc. Try have play time,read books,draw,paint...you will find once you start doing things you will feel better. And talk to your hubby how you feel.Good luck

Guest - posted on 07/13/2014

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Also, if you find you really cannot get out of the house, and your kids are spending hours in front of the TV more than once a week, you may need to seek advice from a professional.

You are in the time zone for PPD and PP Blues, which is just a milder form of the hormonal imbalance that can cause PPD, and will often evolve into PPD if left untreated. If you find yourself crying or feeling like you want to die or abandon your children without any reason, these are signs of a physiological imbalance and it can be treated with short term medications until your body is able to adjust itself. The important thing to remember is YOU are not at fault for these feelings, you are not selfish, or ungrateful, or any of those bad words we used to describe our selves if we are not happy with everything we have. This is a PHYSICAL illness and it should be treated just as you would treat a broken arm or a bad virus.

Kamwine - posted on 07/12/2014

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i think you should first talk to your husband before anyone else it might help lift you up good luck

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