Lonely Son

Kanda - posted on 06/24/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son is 18 and just graduated from high school and has no friends. It's been like this all through his school years. I don't know what to do. I have prayed til I'm convinced that my prayers hit the ceiling and come back down. I wonder why God has forgotten about him, knowing in my heart He has not. My heart hurts so bad for him. I just don't know how to fix it. My latest solution is total surrender.

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Kanda - posted on 06/30/2014

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I suppose I failed to mention my son has Asperger's syndrome, which is a social disorder. Any parent that has a child with Asperger's (which is a form of Autism) knows having a friend for your child is most difficult. I just still don't know what to do. Thank you both for your comments.

Guest - posted on 06/25/2014

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What have you done to help him make friends?
I don't really understand the God thing and praying and such, but maybe God is too busy and needs your son to do this for himself. I can't imagine a God would have time to do everything for everyone, but maybe the God just focuses on the big stuff and lets people handle what they can handle themselves?

To figure out how to fix it, how to help him make friends, you have to figure out why he doesn't have any. Think back to the way he interacts with others. You said he has always been like this, so you might have to go back pretty far into his childhood. Think about the way he interacted with teammates on sports teams, classmates at school, or other kids in your neighborhood or after school activities. Does he argue? Does he tune out of the conversation? Is he too shy to speak to the other kids unless they speak to him first? Once you know WHY he doesn't have friends, you can address that issue and help him make some.

Shawnn is right, he needs to be forging relationships now or his professional life will be very difficult. I assume he is off to college soon. Encourage him to join groups and committees that get him involved with other people with similar interests.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/25/2014

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In order to make friends,your son needs to put in some effort. Does he have a job? At this stage in life, he's going to be moving forward, so should be forging relationships at his work, etc.

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