Looking for advice

Hollie - posted on 09/08/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )




My 13yr old son and I had an agrument and in the middle of it, he called his father to come pick him up. This truly made me angry as his father and I have been divorced for almost 5yrs and I am the one who does everything for this child. Other than his visitation, that is all his father does. What is more confusing is that the only thing that came out of my sons mouth before this was that he did not like being and his dads and disliked him and his new wife. Needless to say, I am very hurt and saddened by this. I am worried that every time my son gets upset at me he will threaten to go live with his dad. This would be my worst nightmare coming true! We attend couseling sessions and I thought this was helping, but this reaction from my son came out of no where. I did not think our realationship was to this point and never thought in a million years he would rather be with his father. A truly frustrated mom looking for some advice...


Amanda - posted on 09/09/2011




Perfectly normal for a teenager to call the other parent, and use them as a threat to the parent they live with. Put your foot down. Tell him its ok if he moves in with his father, but there will be no moving back. That once he makes a choice like this, he will have to live with his choice. Do not allow your teen to control you by your fears! Trust me your child knows who truely keeps care of him, he knows where he belongs. He will make the right choice. Mine did and she no longer trys the I will move in with dad, and if she does I walk straight up to her room and start packing her, while reminding her what I said about choices.

[deleted account]

he is at an age where he is going to do that. i dont think he will actually go live with his dad. i have 2 brothers that did the same thing through their teen years but they know who takes care of them and where they really belong. its just teenage hormones and all the changes and things they are going through. just be patient and remind him constantly you love him even when your angry with him. and when he comes home sit and talk with him and let him know that it hurt you, him leaving like that and that in the future if a fight breaks out that is so bad he needs to leave, try and find something that is acceptable for both of you like a walk or go out in the back yard or driveway for him to go blow off some steam and "get away" from you for 15 min or so and then you can both come back and re-group and talk out your disagreement

Tamara - posted on 09/08/2011




nothing knowing everything, to me it sounds like he is doing it just to make you mad and to see you upset. Teens have a way of enjoying doing that, I would bet if you said ok and dial for him a few times it would stop. Yes it may still hurt like hell but never show it. Smile and say Oh okey let me help you pack, Call and ask what time I can drop you off. I have done it with mine a few times then things calm down and then got back to the regular sense of normal we had before.


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