Marty - posted on 01/07/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
I'm a single mother of a 2 year old. Her father and I have been split up since she was about 6 months old. He hasn't given me any child support since we've been split up and up until recently, I still let him see her (unstable, mind you, but he's seen her) because I was still able to support her without his money thanks to Ontario Works (welfare) and I thought it cruel to stop him from any effort at being in her life. However, a few months ago he moved to Guelph to "find better work"... he never called to see how she's doing, never messaged me, and wasn't coming to see her except for ONE weekend. Everyone keeps telling me to go to court to establish legal custody. I know it's PROBABLY a good idea, but I was told by other people that in the end it's just a piece of paper. And what happens if I actually trust the guy? I don't like him, but I'm almost certain he couldn't get away with kidnapping her, with or without legal custody. Recently I put my foot down, and told him to call my Ontario Works worker, set up child support payment through him, and then him and I can talk about his coming to visit her. If we really can't agree, then yes, I would take it to a legal step, but isn't it worth trying without all that bull crap? Am I doing a good job?
He's being pretty agreeable with everything so far. He did mention wanting to take her to his place in Guelph this summer if the initial visiting schedule is working out. This place is like a quite a few hours away. This idea scares the CRAP out of me but he completely agrees that we should start by HIM coming to visit her HERE for a while first. I told him we'd talk about it when the time comes.
I'm going with my gut here, but I'd really like to know if I'm doing a good enough job by trusting him. Or should I take him straight to court and deal with them? It seems like such a pain in the ass.