Looking to talk to those who had a 4th degree tare!

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/13/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all,

alrighty...my son is 15 months old, i had a 4th degree tare delivering him, its been a long road of seeing doctors,and specialists,i got a Numbing cream from the dr about 3 months ago,its the only way i can even have sex,without it,its not happening... But last night, i felt as if my fiance's penis was going out my bum area, the specialist keeps saying all is fine and i dont need surgery but lately when we have sex i feel like i have wicked cramps when were having sex, like to the pointi have to stop, it just feels weird i just wish things would start too feel normal. Did anyone else have lots of issues with intercourse after delivery? specficially a 4th degree?

4 Comments

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Christie - posted on 02/23/2012

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I had a 4 degree tear and after a year of sever pain and steroid injections and doctors saying nothing to worry about I finally got them to send me to obgyn specialist in city who determined I never healed properly and that the scar tissue was pulling in making area smaller, and each time we had intercourse he was tearing the back wall area again and the perineum! Surgery was done to make repairs and things are better now but still can be painfull in the scar areas!

I would strongly suggest seeing a specialist there is no reason to live in pain

Sarah - posted on 02/15/2012

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I had 3rd degree tears both on my perineum and towards my urethra, which essentially means I was torn from my front hole to my back. This happened with my first delivery. My son was 8lbs, 2oz and came out face up which was why the tearing was so bad. I found it extremely difficult to have sex for at least a year afterwards. Very painful (more for my urethral tear than my perineum) during intercourse, it felt like it was tearing again. Eventually I had another baby (22 months after my son was born) and she had a complex presentation which means she was born with her hands on her head, increasing the size going through. I had 2nd degree tear to my perineum with her. I remember before I had her I was terrified I would have the frontal tear again because it was so painful, and that the rear one would be severe again. But it wasn't as bad the second time. It healed and was better sooner than after my son. It hurt to have sex after her maybe the first four months or so (which was really only a month or so of having sex cause we didn't for 3 months). I'm sorry you have to go through this, I hope it gets better for you.

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/13/2012

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Thank you,i feel so alone most of my friends pop kids out and bounce back to normal but its been over a year and things are still not right. My dr moved away so i have no idea who i will see if i have another baby, but the specialist recommended a c-cection if i have another baby. i tore bad, had hundred of stitches. I have a cream that numbs the area,it has a steroid in it,or else the penis cannot enter without it,and i also have a very tender spot that feels like im being stabbed sometimes during or after sex,which im assuimg is Scar tissue, the last dr i seen just recomended me to a specialist in the city to do excercises but being 3 hours a way with out a drivers license is hard to go to this specialist every 2nd week. My other problem is i just feel really small there like i dont know if i could have been sewn smaller,my third problem is,there is a hole the size of a dime,above where the penis goes, in my opinion it should have been sewn again but the drs kept brushingit off, so now when i have my period that hole fills up,too and i can feel pressure, then after my period it obviously goes away but im just so frusterated with it. i have no idea who to talk to anymore beacuse ive seen MANY doctors,Ob's and Speicailist/surgeons. and i dont ever get satisfaction. but i hope in time it gets better, i just get scared that my boyfriend is damaging me when were having sex,like why would it feel like its going to come out my bumhole? lol. sorry if this is To much Info for any of you. i just had too look for advice.

Groovy Girl - posted on 02/13/2012

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Hi Keli,

What you are describing sounds familiar. I had a 4th degree tear with my first boy and 3rd with my second. It will take a little longer but you will feel normal again. My boys are 11 and 8 now. I know i felt better before my second one was born and after that it was even quicker recovery time. Make sure that if you plan to have any more babies that you go to the same dr who delivered your first or let the next delivery dr. know well in advance about the trouble you are experiencing with sex. My doc told me that ladies tend to tear in the same place and what you don't want is for it to be worse. Find out if you have scar tissue and ask about a cream that can help heal that scar tissue. That is what was causing the pain after sex for me. I cannot remember what the cream was but i think it has some type of steriod in it. Anyway it really helped the healing and pain. If i can remember any more i will post again. Good Luck.

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