Losing my cool trying to be it all...

Cynthia - posted on 06/03/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )




My situation is not a unique one, I know. I work out of the home and I do ask for help from my partner around the house. He tells me that all I have to do is ask, but when I do, it takes days, sometimes weeks for whatever it is to get done - and most of the time, I end up having to do it anyway. I end up completely stressed out all of the time and take it out on my family by getting irritated and yelling. I hate being this way and BEG them to help me so that I don't have to be the "mean mommy" all the time. Sometimes, I just break down and cry. Sometimes, I explode. Either way, I feel guilty afterwards. I have a stressful job, but I do my best to leave my job at work and so I don't even like to talk about it when I get home, unless something major happened. I want my home life to be about my family. However, when I come home stressed and immediately have to go into full-blown mommy mode (cooking, cleaning, cleaning just so that I can do the cooking, homework, etc.) I know that I am incredibly irritable. I love my partner, but it almost seems like it would be easier for me if he WASN'T around. I feel like I have to clean up after 3 cats, 2 dogs, and 2 children and I only gave birth to one. Even when he is helping around the house, he calls on help from me every 5 minutes, completely keeping me from getting done what I need to get done, or making it take 5 times longer than it should have. People keep telling me that I need to take time for myself, but there is so little time that I have with my daughter to begin with (after time with her dad and me being at work sometimes until 11pm) that I feel guilty if I take any time away from her. Finding out that she has been asking both her dad and my partner why mommy doesn't like to spend time with her anymore doesn't help with the guilt. And I am FAR from an absentee mom - I work in her classroom once a week, I rearrange my schedule to go to all of her functions, we do projects at home together, I work with her on her homework, I get her ready and take her to school everyday, and I read her bedtime stories almost every night.
Does anyone have any suggestions or ideas so that I can find the balance and not keep losing it with my family?

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