Mary - posted on 03/01/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )
i am a 39 y/o mother of two wife of 21 years .i am also a paramedic/firefighter.
Septermber 2 my mother came to visit me because my son was on his way to boot camp. She wanted to see him before he left for the rest of his life. that day she was leaving and decided she wanted to take my 21 y/o daughter back to Tennessee with her to see if maybe getting a job there might be easier.( 21 and she had never had a job besides dog watching) so that day her my step dad and my daughter left after dinner .Monday the next day my son 19/yo left at 4 pm to go to the recruitment station to start bootcamp. Later that week my hubby and i are eating pizza and watching tv ..when i got a phone call they are rushing my mother to the hospital they think she had a mild heart attack remember i am a paramedic and have seen my share of heart attacks and the outcomes. dead and alive. two hours later my brother calls says Mary they have done cpr on her 4 times . i knew that she was not coming back at that point no one usually does .. i got a call from the hospital a few min later she left a message in her twangy Tennessee voice that it wasnt looking good and thati needed to hurry up and get to the hospital i called her back well she thought i was miles away ..i live in st louis . so in my mind i thought its time to go. we rushed out of the door and an hour into my ride. they called my husband and i knew what was happening . .........there was silence. ........he took my hand .........and said....she's gone Mary. i felt like my heart stopped beating . this just couldn't be happening she was just here 4 days ago. there was nothing wrong with her. she is only 57 y/o .no way is this real. but it was. extremely real. So i lost my mom , my daughter to Tennessee and my son to the U.S.A. ARMY . and now i was all alone with my thoughts and my cats. now you have heard my story ....how do i deal with this without going totally insane. i need help please help.