Lost control of my daughter and house

Lisa - posted on 08/24/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 12 years old, very disrespectful to me my mother and my boyfriend .. I am divorced 5 years my ex is remarried with another child I am currently dating someone for 2 years which she constantly acts out to,throws him out of the house and is very disrespectful to . She raises her hands to me tells me she hates me and wished I died . I have 2 other kids younger and this is affecting them big time.. She is mean to them as well and also hits them .. She has no fear of me but is an angel when she goes to her fathers house. He will not help me discipline be she does not act that wY with him even tho he is her father and does t realize it's hurting her , whether he hates me or not she should not be acting or talking to me this way at all , I feel he is letting her think it's ok to treat me this way bc she doesn't do it with him that it's not his problem even tho she fears him.. I need help for my daughters sake my two younger children's sake and my sake .ive taken things away from her I punish her and she just does not care

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Dove - posted on 08/24/2015

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Get into some family counseling. Somewhere along the lines she got the idea that it is OK to threaten you and hurt people and you didn't stop it when it started. You guys would benefit from some professional help to get back on track and it sounds like she has some issues she needs some help working through.

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Jodi - posted on 08/24/2015

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Actually, it isn't his problem because he is only responsible for discipline in HIS house. In your house, you are responsible for discipline. He isn't letting her think it is ok to treat you this way, YOU are. Stop blaming her father for the way she is acting and get some balls and discipline the child. And really, what exactly do you expect him to do?

I question how consistent you have actually been with her discipline. When you take things away, at what point do you give them back? Have you grounded her from phones, tv, computers, friends. Have you stripped her bedroom? I strongly suspect that somehow, something you are doing may be either rewarding the behaviour or somehow enabling it, especially if she has been doing this for 2 years.

Also, have you asked her WHY she doesn't like your boyfriend?

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