Nadiah - posted on 08/11/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )
I'm Nadia, the mother of 2 angle children..i was pregnant with twins, a girl & a boy.. i had been on bed rest all through my pregnancy.. 6 months through i went to my 2 week check up( had a check up every 2 weeks) i noticed that my boy wasn't moving much that day.. had my sonar done & while looking for the heart beets we only found one.. my little boy's heart had stopped..he died right there in my stomach..The hurt was unbearable..the doctor said that it was much too soon for me to give birth to my little girl so must wait to give my girl a better chance..they had separate placentas so it wouldn't harm my girl.. i carried by sleeping angel boy for a month & a half which was comforting in a way coz i didn't have to say good buy yet but it was heart breaking to know that he wasn't really with me anymore. Then i went into premature labor at my 30th week but she had stopped growing for 2 weeks..i had a C-section coz my girl was getting distressed.. i didn't know what to feel.. Sad coz i've lost my boy or happy coz i'm having my girl or worried to death coz my girl only weighed 1.16kg and is premature. They took her straight to the NICU & i didnt get to see her. I then saw my boy for the first time & had to say good bye to him at the same time. My little angel was so strong for 15 days but then her little body gave in.. All through this time i wasn't able to hold her or carry her or kiss her.. just touch her and look at her.
i berried them side by side.. I was not strong enough for them, its all my fault..my angel girl was without her mother for 15 days.. she will never forgive me nor will she ever know how much i love her..my angel boy at least was never alone..he could always hear me & feel me till his last heart beat but he never got to know how much i love him either.. i'm lost and heart broken & i don't want the pain to go coz they are worth being missed.. i will never forget them.. i don't know how to carry on my life..