Lost my son 12/4/2014

Kelly Torres - posted on 12/23/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I just happened to find this site and I started reading about mom's losing a child. It's only been 20 days and I have no idea what do,it all started on 12/4/14 my father and I live right next door I think there called duplexes. My dad was taking me to the Drs appt. he told me my son has been in his room for a couple of days,so we went to Drs and came home it was still early yet . So I went home and a couple hours go by I walk back over and ask if Michael was up he said no,by the way he lives with my dad to keep him company and to kinds watch over him,so I go upstairs knocked on the door no answer my son could sleep through a tornado so I try door knob and I can't get in so now I'm screaming and body slam the door still couldn't get in I ran got a broom was able to get handle thru, I could see him laying on floor I'm screaming for him to get up I was watching his chest he wasn't breathing I told my dad call 911 ,apparently he had passed away in the middle of the night. Days later I found out he was helping an elderly couple with ther yard on the 3rd he asked them if could finish the next day they said yes and they told him he didn't look good so they put his bike in there car drove him home. My dad must had been out didn't realize anything was wrong. So the police and all these other people all in my dads house it was a female officer that kicked the panel out of the door she moved the thing that was blocking door ,my daughter and I think he fell out of his chair and knocked over the thing blocking the door. He had been complaining of headaches. The week before I have something I think factor 5 with my blood and my daughter has had clot in her leg and then her lung. She will be on blood thinners the rest of her life she is 34 and a mom of 3 ,so we think he had an aneurysm there still with for toxicology to come back . Now I would die for my kids and body that knows me how does it get any better feels liked some one ripped out my heart and stomped on it ,I cry all the time he was my phone and computer wiz ,it's like a video playing in my head from the time he was born till I saw him at the funeral parlor and then I went to the crematorium and I pushed the buttons for him to go in I brought into this world I should be the one to do this my husband looked at me like I had 3 heads but I felt it was my duty as a mom for him to do that.

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Kelly Torres - posted on 12/23/2014

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Thank you Charlotte for for responding ,that's what I mean though after parents and sister this you can't even compare,I have never ever felt. Like this before he was a part of me and my ex husband we are friends for the kids sake when they were younger and are still friends today he is having a hard time to but he won't talk about it ,his wife I talk to a lot which is good.. What's really going to be hard for everyone in the family is my other was born 12/1. And my oldest daughter 12/8 and now in between my sons death 12/4 and his birthday is 1/15 the holidays are really going to suck.

Mommabird - posted on 12/23/2014

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Its nice you came here for comfort, but you might need more than that. It will take time to mourn and heal from it. If you feel overwhelmed you should find a therapist to talk to. In the meantime...I'll be praying for you :)

Kelly Torres - posted on 12/23/2014

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I lost my sister in 06 then my mom in 08 my father n law in 09 then my mother n law 12 and now my son the pain for my son is so different unbearable.

Mommabird - posted on 12/23/2014

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So sorry for your loss.
Ive never lost a child but I have lost family members that I loved dearly. I know for me it made it easier for me to think of them up in heaven smiling and being healthy again. Like with my grandmother, she lived 30 yrs after grandpa died and when she passed I had to tell myself that she finally got to see grandpa again and hug him and smile. That made me happy for her, not sad that she was gone. Now everytime something reminds me of her I automatically picture her and grandpa dancing and laughing and being together again up in heaven. At least thats what helped me.
Prayers to you and your family

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