Love being pregnant - loathe my prenatal appointments

Trisha - posted on 02/04/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I came home so tired, and in tears yesterday. I did a day at work, and then got off an hour early to go to an appointment. Transited there, because that is the easiest/quickest way to get there without taking basically an entire day off work.
It is -25 degrees celcius outside. It took 22 minutes to get there on the bus, I got their early about 20 minutes, then my OB/GYN was 20 minutes late to see me. She said maybe two sentences to me, checked my measurements, and sent me on my merry way. The entire appointment was less than 5 minutes long. I hated it. Then, I was informed I am already at the point where I have to start going every 2 weeks.
I love being pregnant, and am so happy to be giving birth but I dislike that even IF I did find a doctor that I like, there is a VERY small chance she will be delivering my baby.
Has anyone else experienced this? And how did you turn it into a more positive experience? I want this to be the natural experience I always hoped it to be, and fear it turning into something where a cesarean and drugs are pressured onto me.

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Trisha - posted on 02/05/2015

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:) Thanks for your advice Sarah. I am aware of that, and will be speaking up. Ultimately my main issue is the fact that I just don't 'click' with my dr. She is quiet, and even though she smiles, and asks questions and makes small chat I just don't feel she is very genuine or warm, so I feel uncomfortable asking her questions.
I will definitely stick to my guns, and I am going to read up on everything I can about positions I can get into to get baby into the proper position.
The first step though, is getting a dr I am comfortable with.

Sarah - posted on 02/05/2015

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Trisha, are your appointments always rushed? Consider that maybe this doctor got stuck in an extended delivery or an emergency and was just rushing to get back on track. Is it fair, no. But doctors are human too. If you have a generally positive experience and feeling about this practice then don't worry. Speak up if you have questions, the nurses in the office should be able to help you answer them if the doctor is being snitty.
When you do go in to deliver, take your birth plan with you. The nurses will not be surprised to see a birth plan and will go over it with you. Remember, this is your body, your baby and your choice to consent to anything. You can refuse pain meds, and epidural, whatever. Keep in mind the goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. If you are not making steady progress as you labor, or the baby is in distress, you will change your plans accordingly.
There was a recent post about a mama whose doctor told her at 38 weeks that she had to have a c-section because her baby was big. She stuck to her guns and refused to schedule the surgery. She told the doctor: "If I don't dilate, if the baby is in distress or I can't push the baby out, I will have the c-section, but I want to try to labor and deliver vaginally if I can" She did, and everything went just fine.

Trisha - posted on 02/05/2015

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Just an update: I have made an appointment to talk to my GP to get a referral for a new doctor.
I actually spoke to the woman the switchboard for the hospital I am going to be delivering at, and she was amazing. She even suggested that my dr should have already gone over a birthing plan with me and asked me the questions rather than me having to bring it up.
I mentioned that I was not 100% comfortable with the doctor, so she also suggested I get another referral.
Talking to the staff at the hospital has been greatly reassuring. I also set up Prenatal classes to calm me down a bit.

Trisha - posted on 02/05/2015

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:) I just left a message on the Delivery wards email. To my knowledge, there are no midwives at the hospital. Just doctors and nurses.
I will be asking a few questions, about birth plans etc. Hope that will ease my mind a bit. Between the crappy sleep I have been getting and stressing over this I have been an emotional mess (That is what happens to me when I don't get enough sleep).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/05/2015

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Actually talk with the Labor and Delivery nurses. Ask them what doctors they recommend and if they recommend any midwifes affiliated with the hospital. They may be your best resources. That is how I found my midwives. There were 5 midwives to one doctor. I saw each of them incase one of them was not available for my delivery, I would be guaranteed one of the 5 that I had developed a relationship with.

Trisha - posted on 02/05/2015

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Yeah, I am going to do a lot more research today. I think the short appointments wouldn't matter if I liked the OBGYN a bit more.
Hubby has veto'd the doula based on expense, so I need to think of other ways to get my point across without feeling super uncomfortable. I am going to contact the hospital that I am doing my delivery at and get their policies and procedures so I can read over all the paperwork prior to going in, as well as create a birthing plan, and ask them what the most effective way to ensure my birthing plan is followed.
I am also going to look into doctors who are pro-natural birth in the city, and see if it is possible to get on with them.

Jodi - posted on 02/04/2015

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I had an obstetrician....he didn't make it to the birth anyway. The midwives delivered my daughter because she came so quickly in the end that the doctor just couldn't get there in time. When the time comes, you essentially won't care how the baby gets out, as long as it gets out.

But waiting for appointments is par for the course. Especially if your doctor IS actually off delivering someone else's baby!!! I had to wait 2 hours once.

Also, birthing plans DO matter. You let your partner (or birthing partner, or whoever will be there with you) know what it is you want.

Trisha - posted on 02/04/2015

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Thankfully I am only at 28 weeks now! Problem with a birthing plan here is that there is a large group of OBS that are on call for one Maternity Hospital. If I discuss the birthing plan with my Dr, it wont matter. I will basically have to come in hand with a birthing plan.
I am going to definitely talk to my husband about the idea of getting a midwife, or at the very least a doula.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/04/2015

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The next appointment, tell your doctor that you would like to discuss a birthing plan with her, and see how that goes. Go in with questions, and see how it goes. Otherwise find a new doctor before you feel stuck. I would guess you are about 36 weeks? It might be hard to find a new doctor, but not impossible.

I hate to say it, but I am not sure that I ever had an appointment that I did not need to wait. I hated my first doctor with my first pregnancy. I vowed to find what I was looking for in my second. I ended up with midwives, that delivered in a hospital under the direct supervision of a doctor. They had an entire practice, and worked hand in had with the hospital. it was amazing! They were so supportive, and really listened...and talked. They were great.

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