maid is out of service and husband is losing it!

Deborah - posted on 12/31/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am 7 months pregnant, just had knee surgery and a clot in my leg and my husband is complaining of the "burden" he has. He barely cleans the house, barely looks after our 4 yr old and constantly complains how he has struggled too, with a cold during this time (I have been down about 1 month). While I understand he has had to do more, I am SO TIRED of hearing how bad he has had it. I am having a hard time biting my tongue. Any suggestions of how not to get so frustrated about his behavior? I don't want a pity parade for myself, but I want him to stop guilt tripping me for having to ask for extra help, he is my husband and should be able to handle some extra housework. What to do? All he talks about is himself and never even asks how me and my daughter fare during the day.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/31/2012

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Jennifer, I fully disagree with you. He doesn't need a break for crying out loud, she does.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/31/2012

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Fist of all, don't bite your tongue. he needs to know you are NOT his maid, and that you just had major surgery while you are seven months perggo, and in 2 months you are going to give birth. WTF is wrong with him???? He needs to show some damned support. Poor baby has to do a little more than normal and he cannot handle it?? how is he gonna deal when the new baby comes, and you have a 4 year old? TELL HIM what is going on, and how spoiled rotten he is being. He is being a big ass baby, and he needs to be told that. He has a lot of nerve. And if he cannot handle all the chores, hand him a list of cleaning services in your area and tell him to pick one.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 12/31/2012

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Tell him that marriage works both ways, both are 50% partners, and therefore he needs to suck it up, grow up, and start sharing the responsibilities without griping about it!

Ev - posted on 12/31/2012

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Remind him of the marriage vows you guys took, "For better for worse, in sickness and in health." THat is what marriage is about. But he might need a break or some help himself. Who is with you during the day to do those things that need done when he is at work? Surely, he is not there 24/7 doing it all either. Someone has to be making the money for you to live. I would not bite my tongue. I would say something to the effect that we knew this was coming and you knew you would have to take on a bit more stuff at the same time. Remember our marriage vows? But it could very well be he needs the break.

Firebird - posted on 12/31/2012

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I would just tell him flat out to suck it up. "Sorry that my surgery is such an inconvenience for you!" But I can be really nasty at times like this, so you should probably take Jennifer's advice. lol

Jennifer - posted on 12/31/2012

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Do you have anyone else you could ask to come over and give him a bit of a break? It sound like he could really use one. It sounds like right now he is working all day, then coming home to care for you and your daughter, and taking on all home responsibilities as well (even if he doesn't do as good of a job as you do). We all hit a burn out time when we just need a break, and it seems like he has hit that. Even if it is just for a couple hours that you could have someone come over and wash the clothes and do the dishes while he goes to the movies or what ever he likes to do. He might just be able to come back feeling refreshed and ready to handle things a little better.

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