Managing to blend a family of teens and pretend is the most challenging task of my life.

Patricia - posted on 04/10/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Any other mothers with a similar situation? What has helped for you?

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Jodi - posted on 04/10/2015

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Don't use your son's ADHD as an excuse NOT to have the same rules. Sorry, ADHD is not an excuse. Even children with ADHD can understand rules. If your son gets away with certain things, then so should they.

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Patricia - posted on 04/10/2015

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Thank you, we have been together for 6 years. Living together for almost 5 years. It's been hard to have all the same rules etc. because my son has ADHD and requires dietary restrictions, more prompts to get take done, slooooow to start in the mornings. He is an amazing it, raw drumming talent of ,7 years for private lessons, sweet, kind, giving,icing of animals, compassionate. But he has all the classic ADHD struggles...

My fiancé's children are different and don't have ADHD challenges but have a lot of entitlement, they have been made to feel they are also somehow better than my son in the hierarchy of our home since they can gets things so fast. They do their share of arguing also and repeat the same mistakes at times too.

I just left a voicemail for a therapist we have been recommended to. It is my last effort to make this all work. God willing, we will survive... My fiancé has a hard time filtering himself when he speaks out in stressful moments. I am not sure he has the patience needed for this life with kids and blending. Makes me sad and scared.

Raye - posted on 04/10/2015

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In a nut-shell:

Try to keep consistent rules and punishments for all kids.
Have all parental types on the same page (or close to it as possible).
Show lots of love and understanding.
Some things you have to let go to keep your sanity.
Try to focus on the good stuff.
Ask for help when you need it (and graciously accept help even if you think you don't need it).
Take a moment for yourself once in a while.
Show lots of love and understanding (it needs repeating).

There's probably more, but this is a start.

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