marriage issues

Katie - posted on 01/13/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My husband ignores me and the kids all the time, for ridiculous things like the video games, kindle, laptop, tv. Then complains I don't want him to go out with friends and he doesn't get to have fun. First off he does go out WAY more then me. Second he plays his games ect. EVERYDAY. I say well I think its bull you ignore us when your home then want to leave and yet again pay no attention to us. He says well im almost always home, that should be enough, I say you might as well be my roommate, I work like he does and then do EVERYTHING else for the bills, cleaning, errands, kids, groceries, laundry ect. I said i'd be more okay with you going with friends if at home you showed us more attention. I don't believe a loving marriage includes me needing to MAKE my husband spend time with me and the kids and its to the point I feel he does nothing for us but work. Which I make just as much as him (which he belittles, saying his is hard labor and mines easy) but he has so many bills that are things just for him like for instance his motorcycle payment which I didn't want but hey to hell with me! He did it anyways. He has no idea what a marriage is about. Im so damn lonely as it is, its like hmm, leave and be MORE lonely or stay and be lonely. I feel absolutely trapped. These btw are not all the issues but one im struggling with right now a lot.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/13/2014

13,254

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2015

Ok, if he is not willing to discuss this, you present him with paperwork for a separation, contingent on his meeting you halfway and getting some counseling.

Either that, or you spend the rest of your married life unhappy...

Katie - posted on 01/13/2014

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I appreciate it, I try to communicate, but he ignores me or if I sit down with him, he either gets mad or closes his eyes to tune me out or says hell change basically getting my hopes up with no intention, sometimes he just sighs like o god we have to talk.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/13/2014

13,254

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2015

Well, obviously, something didn't get "fixed".

I'm a big, HUGE fan of communication, and this is something that I address in my relationship (25 years strong) daily.

There is more to this "issue" as well. If he belittles you, begrudges your requests to spend family time, spends money needlessly without discussing it with you first, purchases items that you've agreed not to...All of these are problems that need to be addressed.

I wish you the best of luck

Katie - posted on 01/13/2014

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Well for instance, this all mostly started around thanksgiving, weve had issues before we were married with the video games but I expressed my concerned and it really changed. I mean 3 days a week top and one time not on and off on and off. Then we get married and its back. We just got the kindle...its not even his! My mother got it for my 9 year old son for Christmas. the motorcycle payment was from 2011. it gets paid off in a year. So yes we had issues before getting married but prior to getting married a lot changed for the better.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/13/2014

13,254

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2015

These should have all been addressed prior to the two of you getting married.

Since that did not happen, you'll need to step up with counseling now, to see if the relationship can be saved. Best of luck with that.

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