Married and I'm in love with another man pregnant with his baby

Sophie - posted on 08/18/2016 ( 28 moms have responded )

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Hey I'm Sophie aged 41, I'm married and got 3 children with my husband. For the past year I've been volunteering helping refugees in France and I fell in love and started a relationship with a refugee in France( things have been really bad with my husband at home ) We are still together but I'm pregnant with the refugees child.

I don't know what to do I still love my husband but there is just something about this guy that makes me feel special and different.

But I don't want to rip my family apart I don't know what to do

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 09/06/2016

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Lady, if you've reached the age of 41 and think sex is all there is to a relationship, then there is something very wrong.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/02/2016

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An 18 year old? You are old enough to be that boy's mother, for Christ's sake!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/18/2016

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No more details are necessary. You violated your marriage vows, an oath between yourself, your husband, and God.

Put on your big girl panties and face the music. There is absolutely no way you can avoid hurting your husband, and if you really loved him to begin with, and did not want to hurt him, you wouldn't have misplaced your morals and slept with someone else, now would you?

Be an adult. Respectfully request a divorce. Deal with the consequences of your actions.

Dove - posted on 08/18/2016

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Wow Michelle... are you me? My ex did as well only I know she got pregnant... and then she blamed the abortion on me (even though I didn't know about it for several months and no matter what I would never want someone to choose abortion).

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/06/2016

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Sorry, honey, but Muslim men take unclean women. A Muslim man doesn't put love into the equation. A Muslim man cares nothing for a woman's individuality.

You are most likely his ticket out of his situation, after which, he will start treating you like most Muslim men treat women. Zero respect.

But, whatever. You still broke your vows, you still are a coward, in my opinion, for not doing what was needed to fix your MARRIAGE!!!!!

Stop trying to justify it.

Ev - posted on 09/06/2016

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Get a grip! You are having an affair. You think sex is the best ever because this young boy is at his peak and you are apparently at yours. You seem to not care about the family you just destroyed with this affair. You seem not to think about anyone but yourself.

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2016

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You are also his ticket to the UK.
Sorry but I have seen it before. Hopefully he won't dump you as soon as he gets to stay in the UK.
What happens when he is 40 and you are 60, is he still going to want to be with an old woman?
My Mum's husband is 16 years older than her and now that she is 64 and he is almost 80, she says the age gap is too big. He's an old man and she is now his carer.

Sophie - posted on 09/06/2016

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Not at all bet sex is very important in a relationship when I was with my ex husband we barely had sex like twice a year

At least with my new boyfriend he wants sex all the time and is interested in making sure I'm fully pleased before finishing

My new boyfriend cannot kept his hands off me and likes to see my body naked and tells me that I've got a great body after 3 kids and he loves it

Where my ex would never tell me how beautiful I am or would want to see me naked

Sophie - posted on 09/06/2016

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He is telling me the truth

We are in both crazy in love I'm having his baby and I will get him to come to the uk

Also the sex is amazing it's the best sex I've ever had he is amazing in bed.

Just because he knows how to treat me like a queen and pleases me in every possible way during sex

He would not be having sex with me if he did not love me as he is a Muslim

Michelle - posted on 09/03/2016

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You don't think that this boy is telling you whatever you want to hear to get into the UK? That happens all the time. He may even think that since you are having his baby, it will go in his favour.
I'm sorry, but the more you tell us the more I see scam.
I hope he was worth ruining your marriage over because from the outside it doesn't seem like he was.

Sophie - posted on 09/02/2016

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I know thanks it's going to be hard as long as I know get my boyfriend over with me it will be ok he is a refugee and has been thought a lot

Dove - posted on 09/02/2016

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Love is more than a feeling. Love is an action. Feelings fade and even if it's hard... doing the right thing is always better in the long run than just 'following your heart'.

What's done is done though and there's no going back in time and doing things in the right order. Now you just get to deal w/ the consequences of your actions. I wish you luck cuz you're really going to need it.

Sophie - posted on 09/02/2016

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I do it just feels right being with him when I was with my ex will were fighting all the time had nothing in common and never had sex

Sophie - posted on 09/02/2016

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Hey I know it's been a while the last weeks have been really hard I've told my husband and me cheating and getting pregnant with have both decided to split up he told the news really badly.

He kicked me out the house and my kids are not talking to me I'm staying with my parents.

I'm still with my boyfriend one who got me pregnant the other thing is as he is a refugee so is living on in France the French want him to claim asylum there but he wants to get tot the uk to be with me but they won't let him come or to claim asylum in the uk there kept on trying to make him stay there but he does not want to stay there.

So at the moment I hate my life I've got no home my kids won't talk to me and I can't get my boyfriend over here either

Sarah - posted on 08/20/2016

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Consider also how this will affect the baby you are about to have, do you expect your husband to help parent another man's child?

Michelle - posted on 08/18/2016

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Like the others have said, you made the choice and now you need to deal with the consequences.
Your husband will find out when the child is born so it's best to tell him before. I will say that your marriage is over since you say you are in love with this other man so you may as well get it all out in the open.
Sorry, my ex husband cheated on me and (possibly) got the other girl pregnant. She got an abortion so we will never know but the hurt was immense. I don't have any sympathy for cheaters.

Dove - posted on 08/18/2016

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If you actually loved your husband and cared about what this would do to your children... you wouldn't have cheated on your husband. It's time to come clean to everyone about everything and go from there.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/18/2016

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Yeah you really need to come clean before it makes the situation way worse. There is no easy way to tell your husband that you cheated and are carrying another mans baby, but he will know when the baby is delivered. Your situation sucks, but you created it, now you have to fess up and deal with the consequences. Own it. You decided to cheat. Now you have to tell. If you never got pregnant by this man, you may not have needed to tell your husband (which is way wrong in my opinion) but now you have no choice.

Does your husband know you are pregnant?

Sophie - posted on 08/18/2016

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Hi

I know what I've done is wrong and you are right of it was the other way around then I would feel angry betrayed etc.

But I can't bring my self to tell my hubby and family the truth it would destroy them

But I love the father of my baby

My baby is going to be half black to make matters worse

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/18/2016

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Don't lie. Don't hurt the ones you love and build everything on lies. It will eventually come out. If you want to leave your husband, here is your chance. No matter what you should not have cheated, and now you have to deal with the consequence of not only cheating and breaking your vows, but being pregnant with another mans child. Before you get mad at me for pointing out the obvious, turn the situation around and imagine your husband cheating and getting another women pregnant. I am sure your life would change drastically, and I am sure you would want to know about his situation.

Have you told the man you cheated with that you are pregnant?

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