Married eldest son is drugs addicted, can you share success stories?

Katy - posted on 07/21/2017 ( 10 moms have responded )

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It is very annoying to face this situation. I have been praying for years and sometimes he is off for some months then start again. We have to be cautious of things at home. He is also requesting for money now and then and it is getting worse. He has once been in jail for 3 years, but in fact being addicted is the worst thing can happen in our life. He has a wife and a little son, and he is cheating us for money. I am praying for a miracle..that is all I can do..but in the meantime I also fear that he will be caught and put in jail again. I do not want that to happen..

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Michelle - posted on 07/22/2017

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I deleted the other post you reported as that was uncalled for. You know the ones that can take a bit of stupidity but I will be keeping an eye on this lovely person.

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Sarah - posted on 08/08/2017

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There are worse things than addiction. However, I still agree with the other ladies. Cut him off, and let him fall. Most recovering addicts will tell you that they had to bottom out before they turned their life around.

Lena - posted on 08/08/2017

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No, I know of no success story unfortunately. Personally, I know of someone who quit using, but still has the learned behaviors and thinks he doesn't. So everyday is a struggle. I wish you good luck!

Dove - posted on 07/22/2017

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Yeah, I wouldn't have bothered to report that other one, but I didn't think that kind of vulgarity needed to be left on the post of a worried mom of a tiny baby. ;)

Dove - posted on 07/22/2017

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So Michelle, should I report the troll for direct violation of THUMPS... or should we let her stick around for sheer entertainment purposes....?

Kim - posted on 07/22/2017

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Dove, you have the IQ of a mushroom and guarantee you haven't gone outside in 2 years, which explains your "worldly knowledge" on every topic in these forums....the horse is long dead....quit beating it already....pathetic.

Dove - posted on 07/22/2017

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Definitely time for some tough love. Enabling a drug addict is the stupidest thing you can do. He has to WANT to change and sometimes the only way for a drug addict to change is to hit rock bottom on their own. It hurts and it sucks, but only HE can decide he wants to change and coddling and enabling him gives him no motivation to do so. Why does he have to change when he can just come to mom and she'll bail him out of all his problems in life?

Kim - posted on 07/22/2017

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Yes, "kick him out" so he can "get clean and off drugs" from living on the streets....brilliant suggestion....pfft.

Michelle - posted on 07/22/2017

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You are enabling him and prayer isn't going to help.
His wife needs to be tough and kick him out and tell him he can't return until he is clean. His children don't deserve to be around drug addicts.
You also need to stop giving him money, helping him out and enabling him.
Time for some tough love and he needs to know that unless he stays clean, he is on his own. No one will take him in or help him to buy drugs. You all need to be united on this. You aren't helping him by not wanting him caught, he needs a wake up call to get off the drugs and actually be there for his family.

Kim - posted on 07/22/2017

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How is he cheating you of money if you allow him in your home and have enabled him by giving it to him? Pass your miracle prayer on to someone else and be proactive if you care. Unless court ordered or of his free will, he will not go into treatment until he's ready. He loves his family and doesn't want to hurt anyone a part of that....he knows already the pain and dissappointment it's given to you and others in his heart....believe me, he knows....his motivation, self worth and zest for life has been misplaced, having been replaced with a "mistress in a bag", etc....very difficult to give up, but deep down he wants to....he's not strong emotionally right now and instead of embracing solutions he embraces excuses...persuasion, charm, buddy, funny guy, quick temper, quiet, tired, etc., he will be...in his mind "what's the point now?" "nothing more I can lose" randomly in his thoughts, even if in a crowded room with open arms from those who love him, to only his son, their eyes making contact, those thoughts cross his mind as he counts the minutes until he picks up his next "mistress"....he's an adult...he makes his choices, as you did at his age....he is the sole owner of those -- not you or anyone else....he needs to take responsibility for his irresponsibility....and he will in one way or another....hounding him will make it worse and he will distance himself...you will lose him....go into a substance abuse counselors office in your area (hospitals have them) and speak one on one with someone who can give you direction and support and possibly help with meeting him at home offering the same to him...be strong and keep telling him you love him as you hug him....he will find his way....

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