Married with twins and a husband who goes out for hours several times a week

Athena - posted on 07/28/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I've been married for almost seven years, and we have two beautiful kids that are two and half years old, (twins). I work as a teacher, he recently started up his own company.
He's home more, but at night regardless if he was working or was home, he tells me has to go out, (this is around 11:30 pm-12:30pm, after getting text messages from friends) ,and will be back soon. He goes out to smoke, because he doesn't want to smoke around the kids which I put to bed every night, however I think it's that he's out with many immature and single friends, having a good time, and smoking weed, not cigarettes.
This really upsets me. He denies this is what's happening.
I feel like I'm being used to stay home and take care of the kids, especially now in the summer. On top of all that I have terrible pain with my back. I had been feeling better for over a month, now that I;m home with the kids it hurts, and he gets angry when I tell him sorry I don;t want to go the park, or the beach and hold our son the whole entire time.
I know he's not cheating, but I'm not quite sure how to stay calm, and not want to beat him up when he comes home late constantly, and reeks from that stuff.

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Athena - posted on 08/01/2012

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I would have done that, but the apartment we live in, (rent free), is technically mine, being that my
parents own the house, however I can't kick him out unless I go to court and get a restraining order based upon all the police reports I've made, and telling my story, however once I do that it's over.
I'm just not quite ready to do that yet. He can be great, but when he's wrong he will never admit it. Like tonight we went out to eat dinner. I was holding both kids, while he's eating, then some water spilled, he got upset that his phone got wet, but remained calm. Once he finished eating it didn't matter if I wasn't done, he just got the check and didn't even bother to help with the kids. When my daughter went to him it was ok, but not my son, which is the harder one. He started yelling loud, if you come here I'm going to spill the water on you. I told him to shut up because he was screaming. He got angry again.
I'm in a hard place to be.

Gwen - posted on 07/30/2012

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Next time he does that, pack up the kids and leave. When he comes back to an empty house, he'll get the idea.

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