Mean teachers

Christina - posted on 04/17/2014 ( 15 moms have responded )

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How do you get the teacher to have some kind of sensitivity to the child's disorder. She took all the monthly library visits away, the field trip, and when I thought she was done, she also taken the Easter egg hunt. I just hope my son doesn't become a bully for everything she's done. Son tells me the teacher is very strict. And when a kid does something bad to him. He refuses to tell on the kid because he feels bad if he did. My son has a big heart. I just hope the teacher doesn't turn him into a monster. I got the vyvan capsules but scared to give to him with all the bad side effects :-/

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Debby - posted on 04/19/2014

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Christina, I would nip this in the bud by scheduling an appointment with the teacher, and possibly include the principal. *Always have a witness/advocate present when you have confrontations; otherwise it is a case of "I said"/"She/he said." I would be honest and share you/your child's perspective of the situation. Be positive and kind, but never back down when defending your child. I had an issue when my son was in first grade with a hateful Librarian. She was mean to almost everyone. His teacher informed me of a situation where she had falsely accused my son of doing damage to a book. He is a very well mannered, well behaved and compliant child. He was devastated and scared out of his wits. I was extremely angry, and the School Librarian called me. After I explained what she did to my son, she said, "Well, all I can say is that if he is that sensitive, he is going to have a lot of problems in life." (Are you KIDDING ME?) It is obviously time for her to retire! She bullied a child of her opposite race over a 50 cent fine, and the little girl didn't have the money. Sher was not allowed to check out a book until she paid the fine. Personally, if I had been the teacher, I would have paid the stupid fine. (Disgusting!) ALSO IMPORTANT: Besides teaching your child to face his enemies in life, you can use this as a learning experience by teaching your child that in life there are going to always be people that are grouchy or that don't respect the feelings of others (wording it in an age-appropriate way), and there will always be some people who are nice. Teach him that sometimes you have to ignore the negative actions of others. If the problem cannot be resolved and the teacher doesn't like your son then I would demand that he be transferred to another class. I know that they don't like to do this, but life is too short for students to suffer and struggle a whole school year. Throughout my school years I have memories of teachers who could be defined as good & bad, or mean & nice teachers. It can stay with you for a lifetime.

Truef - posted on 04/19/2014

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Hi I agree with Doris.

Have you thought of changing your childs diet? My children don't eat any genetically modified foods (which is most sweets). They understand as they see many children suffering from the results of a poor diet.

God bless.

http://www.stopkillingmykids.com/the-sid...

Jodi - posted on 04/19/2014

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Doris, do you even HAVE school age children? It is never okay to just tell a child that the teachers are wrong and just shift schools. That totally enables problem behaviour. What this mother needs is advice on how to solve these issues with her child, because the behaviour will STILL follow the child to a different school. Her son needs to understand consequences for certain behaviour, and she needs to work WITH the school on an individual learning plan to help her son. Just upping and moving schools and enabling her son's belief that the teacher is unfair is not going to help anyone at this point.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2014

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Who is labelling your son a bully? Is that what the teacher is calling him? Your son hit another child. It may have been by accident, but he still hit another child because he lacks impulse control. That is not safe behaviour. ADHD or no ADHD, she need to keep her classroom safe for other children too.

I also don't think it is fair to suggest many teachers don't know what to look for with ADHD. They deal with ADHD children frequently. It still doesn't mean any form of violence is ok, accidental or not. Unsafe behaviour is unsafe behaviour. A teacher can't be sensitive to that. There need to be consequences for unsafe behaviour in the classroom, regardless - even for a child with ADHD.

With regard to the lack of focus, an IEP will help with that - make sure things are in the plan such as getting down to eye level with him.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/17/2014

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So what is the reason that she's given for rescinding activities? What actions have been taken to correct the problems that are occurring to cause her to make these decisions?

If your child has been diagnosed with a disorder, there should be an education plan in place for the child. If there is not, that needs to be your first step. If the child has not been diagnosed, and you think he may have a disorder, the first step needs to be diagnosis. If you've been prescribed medication, GIVE IT, or if you have concerns about it, ASK YOUR PHYSICIAN rather than just determining on your own whether or not you 'want' to give it.

However, with the very vague info given here, I'd have to say a meeting with the teacher is in order to address the concerns she has about your child's behaviour. Teachers are not monsters. They don't arbitrarily rescind activities for no reason. Find out the reason, and together with your son and the teacher, address it through proper channels.

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Doris - posted on 04/27/2014

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Hi everyone, it's me again! Thanks for your compliments! Jodi, I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you. I don't think that shifting schools enable problem behaviour. Christina, if the teachers are not good at that school, you probably should change to another school. And for Jodi's question: Well, yes, I have school age children, one's 3, the other's 6, and then's 11.

Christina - posted on 04/25/2014

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Yes I watch his sugars in cereals, drinks, and other foods. Soda is a big no,no! I noticed a super charged kid one day after a birthday party. And of course he must of had the cake and candy. But sodas are the worst and those bubble gums from the gum ball machine. They give him a good kick of sugar.

Christina - posted on 04/25/2014

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Thank you much for your help. I talked to a regional social worker. She told me that the field trip and other trips she took away wAs illegal. If your suspended then of course but that was not the issue here. Getting on a iep plan will protect my son from issues like these and the school is trying not to give him not to give it to him. I now have to fight to get him the IEP. Things will get better for him. I will have people on his side. :-)

Doris - posted on 04/19/2014

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Oh my! Such bad teachers! :( I think you should teach him that the teacher is wrong and teach him the right things. I think you should go to another school next year.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2014

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I actually find that parents frequently use the "label" of their child's special need to excuse their behaviour, when in fact, it should be used as a means to develop other ways to manage the behaviour. ADHD doesn't mean that your child can't comply with the rules, just that he needs a slightly different style of managing the behaviour. Where most children CAN stand still, he struggles with his impulse control. He still needs to learn to manage it, but just needs new and different strategies to do so. He needs to understand that there are still consequences to his behaviour. He doesn't get special treatment for unsafe behaviour just because he has ADHD. Using it as a means to get special treatment is using the label as an excuse, not as a tool for finding solutions.

I'm not sure if that made sense. But I have ADHD students, and unsafe behaviour in the classroom is still not ok, and the consequences are the same as for other students. With regard to behaviour management, I recognise I need to employ different strategies for different students. However, rudeness, non-compliance (which includes outright refusal to do work, which is what you mentioned your son did) and other such behaviours are still not acceptable and bring consequences the same as any other child. How I manage them into compliance, or manage that behaviour BEFORE the non-compliance or poor behaviour is where the IEP comes in.

So basically, what I am saying is that your son is still expected to comply with the rules of the classroom, regardless of his ADHD. After all, as an adult, he will still have to comply with the law and various regulations, he will still have to meet conditions of employment, and so on, so rules within a classroom, or even at home, are no different. A classroom needs to be a safe place for all students AND for the teacher. That's why there are classroom rules. The classroom rules apply to everyone.

Christina - posted on 04/18/2014

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I popped up in class after she sent my son to principal office twice in one week. 1st time she sent my son to principal office she didn't ask to get his side of story. Son explained to the principal he swung his arms in line and hit tbe kid behind him. The child told the teacher he hit him. Second time because he refused to do his work. The day I popped up for the 1st time my son received the top color that day. I came in sat next to my son for couple hours to observe. I noticed he did lack focus, but that's about it. After that day the whole week he received good colors. It seems weird why he gets good colors after I pop up. I feel she singling him out. I'm on to her. I got him diagnosed for adhd. And waiting for the 504 plan. Because the color chart is not going to help him. When he has no control of fidgeting in his chair and loses focus. And has to be told more then once. I notice he does not listen when being told from afar. You need to get eye contact for him to listen. I just hope this 504 plan gets done before school ends. Many teachers don't know what to look for when they come across a adhd and look at them like a trouble maker doing things on purpose. Yesterday I volunteered and walked up to find my son taking his sweater off to give to another boy who came to school with a tshirt complaining he was cold. How can my son be a bully when he cares about his classmates.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2014

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I am with the others here. WHY is she taking these privileges away? You can't just tell us that it is happening and not tell us why. You and I both know that it was because of something your son did or did not do. Also, what is your son's "disorder"?

Another things that bothers me is that you are blaming this for potentially turning your child into a bully. Taking away privileges from a child as a form of consequence for certain behaviour does not make a bully. If your child becomes a bully, a lot of it will have to do with you.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/17/2014

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I would go and have a sit down talk with the teacher and the principal. Get to the bottom of this.

Christina - posted on 04/17/2014

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Hi Christina.
Did she give you a reason why she is excluding him from the activities? Have you spoken to the Headteacher?

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