Lacye - posted on 12/23/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )
Need some advice on this. My husband and I are finally (FINALLY) getting the ball rolling towards him seeing his daughter from a previous relationship (we started the process 2 YEARS ago this coming January!). We were supposed to have court last Wednesday, but BM got a lawyer and the lawyer asked for a continuous. Yesterday, we got to see SD for the first time in 7 months (BM came up with excuses with why we couldn't come). I wasn't really supposed to go with him (BM lives 3 1/2 hours away and I'm 34 weeks pregnant, doctor's orders) but I did anyways because he didn't want to go down there without me. While there, BM kept making comments that we didn't have to take this to court, that we could just make the agreements between all of us (meaning she wanted to go to mediation); however, the last time hubby tried to do that, BM told us that we would have to take her to court if we wanted SD to visit us overnight without her present (yes, I would allow her in my home for a week at a time with SD so hubby could spend time with his child but that only happened twice).
Another problem we've been having with BM is SD's last name. SD has BM's last name because hubby was not able to make it to the hospital in order to sign the proper papers (no driver's license and once again, BM lives 3 1/2 hours away!). Hubby wants SD to have his last name and we aren't sure if we can have that done (hubby has already tried to get this done when he first started paying child support, gave BM the money to do it and she never did). Also, because BM never sent off the paperwork to the proper place when child support was set up, hubby's name is not even on the BC. It's been a huge mess!
So which would be better in our situation: mediation or going ahead and taking her to court? BM is trying her best to get us to not take her to court and is even now talking about us taking SD for a week after baby is born. We aren't sure if it's because she knows she's going to have to allow us to take the child after court or if it's because she just wants to be rid of the child (she has made comments that makes us think this is a possibility) or what but we know she is up to something. Thanks for the advice!