miscarriage 4 months ago

Jessica - posted on 03/31/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I had a miscarriage about four months ago. At first I was devastated and petrified to tell my partner all I could think about was hurting and dissapointing him. I had a D&c he was right by my side the whole time. These past few months all of a sudden i have been majorly depressed, not working out like i usually do, barley eating, having trouble sleeping. I am constantly anxious and crying randomly. I know i love my boyfriend when im with him im happy when im not with him i find myself questioning our relationship and my feelings for him, i feel like i just want to run away. I know that is not the answer and i know this is probably the depression talking. I just want things back to how they were, it seems as if things were perfect i had what every woman dreamed of and poof its gone. I recently got on some depression and anxiety meds and i am hopeful things will get better. I am just wondering if all of this is normal

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Jessica - posted on 04/01/2014

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jodi,

I will be seeing a therapist this week. I feel the same way im so stubborn and unconsciously i know im upset about the misscariage but i dont want to believe it i keep finding other things from my past to obsess over and be upset over instead of focusing on the now. Hopefully the therapist can help me and the medications.

Jessica - posted on 04/01/2014

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thank you Amanda! Communication is one thing I am trying to work on. My boyfriend is very understanding and brings me to a calmer place. I just feel so guilty even crying to him, its almost like im crying over everything in life ive ever been hurt about and trying to avoid the fact that i had a misscarriage. I do believe in god and I try to go to church every weekend, it is defiantly a good idea for me to have some faith.

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Jessica, having a miscarriage will bring feelings of sadness and anxiety. This was your baby and a big loss. It's normal to fill disillusioned, angry, sad, etc. Don't be afraid to grieve and express your feelings. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but this is a good opportunity to pray. Pray about all the ways you are feeling. I wish I could give you a hug. My husband and I also dealt with miscarriage in 2007. It was very difficult for both of us. We felt disappointed, sad, angry, guilty, and wanted to know why. These events can either bring people together or drive them apart. I would just be honest with your boyfriend. Let him know you love him, but that you are also having doubts and questions. I've expressed lots of difficult feelings and thoughts to my husband while we were dating and since we've been married. I'm always surprised how fair minded and understanding he is. Love and prayers.

Jodi - posted on 03/31/2014

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It's very normal. It can be quite traumatic having a miscarriage, and we all deal with it differently. I had quite a traumatic miscarriage and emergency D&C some years ago, followed by another miscarriage a few months later, and I was incredibly depressed. I didn't realise it at the time, but I do now, I was grieving but trying not to allow myself to grieve and heal emotionally. I spiralled into a really bad place, and it hit me after I had my daughter as sever post natal depression. It is only in hindsight, after seeing a counsellor and working through it, that I realised I had never grieved my loss. Have you talked to a therapist about your feelings? If not, you should. It will help you work through your feelings and what they mean.

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