miscarriage... please help?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

I am new to this site. I lost my baby right after the first trimester. It has been 2 years since i lost him but every time the day that i lost him comes around i just want to curl into a ball and cry and when his due date comes it hurts even more. I feel like there is a piece of my heart missing and i think about him every day. Will it ever get better? i dont have any other children. will it hurt less if i have one? or will there always be a hole so huge in my heart? When i see a baby or a toddler i just want to cry. Sometimes i hold my pillow and the toys i had bought him and wish i could just hold him. I feel like its not supposed to hurt its been so long and his father never even talks about it. Its like he never existed. What do i do? How do I make the pain stop?

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