Missy - posted on 06/04/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )
I need some advice from moms out there! I am a 45 year old woman engaged to a man with 2 sons (both of whom primarily reside with their mother a few miles away from us). I chose not to have children of my own because, honestly, I always wanted to do what I wanted, spend my money on what I wanted, not have to monitor my behavior in my home, etc. I always liked other people's children though ;-) So, over the past few years, the youngest son has gotten more and more defiant, not following his mothers rules, not doing homework, won't get up in the morning, won't go to school, close to flunking 10th grade, etc...you get the idea. It has been very apparent to me that both she and his dad (my fiance) never follow through on consequences. They threaten certain actions and NEVER do these actions come to fruition. He somehow manages to manipulate the situation and act in such despair that they back out of every consequence. Just the other day, the mother texted my fiance and said that she was kicking him out of the house and that she insisted that he come live with us. We've discussed it and, as you can imagine, there are quite a few fears, concerns on my part. My fiance does not handle stress well and takes it out on me because of it. I have a feeling this is going to be a daily challenge/stressor in his life and I'm terrified of my life becoming miserable and my new house, that i haven't even moved into, becoming chaotic and unbearable. Since it is illegal to kick a minor out of the house, is his ex wife manipulating us into taking him by saying she is going to kick him out? He, the son, doesn't necessarily want to come live with us anyway but my fiance said he can't turn his exwife down if she insists on it. WTH?