Mom in need of advice

Buserba - posted on 07/28/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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in 2008 I left my ex-husband because of his verbal, emotion and physical abuse against me. I also left because of his lack of discression of the family funds. He put the family in such financial distress, that our house was constantly being threatened to be foreclosed upon. After leaving him, we worked the custody out amicably and he was very active in the children's lives. After the house was foreclosed on, he moved to an apartment and then was evicted for non payment of rent and his car was reposessed. He then moved an hour away and rarely contacted the girls. No phone calls and only came around every 6 weeks when he had a weekend off. now- After 6 years of being divorced, he is filing for full custody of the children. He feels that because he started dating 2 months ago and moved in with the girlfriend that they can provide a better environment for them. I have been remarried for 5 years and my husband and I have provided the girls with EVERYTHING. Both their physical and emotional needs. All of their 'stuff' is here. Friends, school, doctors, activities. He chose to move 2.5 hours away! Worst of all, His entire claim against me is false! EVERY statement is a lie!!!! How likely is he to get custody? I don't want to lose my kids! My nerves have been shaken ever since getting the papers on Friday.

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Buserba - posted on 07/28/2014

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LTM- Thank you so much for the advice and sound confidence. It is all upsetting more for the kids. That the have to be put through this. It isn't fair to them at all.

LTM - posted on 07/28/2014

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Hold your head up high, Beth, and approach the hearing with confidence. Remember to point out that your husband - unfortunately for your children - has a history of failing to deliver what he promises. Point out that he has only been dating this new woman for two months and, while you like to think that she might manage to help him become a better and more responsible father, your children do not know the girlfriend well enough to be put into her care. And it doesn't seem fair on her OR the children to suggest she become their full-time mother.
If your ex-husband had given any indication over the past six years that the kids were welcome in his life, and that he would actively try to show them he loved and cared for them, you wouldn't be so worried about his sudden demand for access.
'But he's not just asking for access, Your Honor. He's asking for full custody! That means he's asking our children to give up their friends, their school, their doctors, their sporting activities, and the two parents who have been meeting their physical and emotional needs without complaint and with no help from him ... why? So that he can impress his girlfriend with a ready-made family? That wouldn't be fair to any of us.'
Beth, if you suggest to the court that your husband demonstrate a commitment to the children by making a financial contribution towards raising the children, and visiting them regularly, I suspect you'll find that he has to prove himself worthy before even being considered as a custodial parent.
I do wish you the best of luck. Don't stress about it. Get some legal advice if you can afford it, but even if you represent yourself, just be confident and tell things like they are.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/28/2014

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He's likely to get a portion, I would say. Full is probably doubtful, but it depends on the case.

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