MOM OF ADULT 23 YR. OLD DAUGHTER/LIVES @ HOME?

Maryanne - posted on 01/16/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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l love my daughter tooooo much. I feel she is so needy and hard to get along with and trying to so hard to make it in this world, but has a really hard time. I just cannot stand seeing this day after day and I am going crazy trying to help her, but can't reach her?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

13,259

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If you "feel she is needy", you need to begin to give her tools to live her life interdependently of you.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/16/2014

13,259

21

2015

Ok, is she staying at home because she won't take the initiative to move out?

Is she contributing to household expenses? She needs to be paying her share of them. If not, tell her that, beginning on 1 Februrary, she will be paying her share. Divide the total house expenses (mortgage, utilities, food, extras) by the number of bodies living in the home. For example, when my eldest lived with us after HS, he paid 1/4 of the expenses. We have 4 people in the house, so the usage is divided 4 ways.

Then, tell her that she needs to start saving for her deposits and first/last month on a flat of her own. Help her do that by reminding her that 1/2 of each paycheck should be saved, theoretically, she should only be allowing herself to spend 20% of her pay (or less) on "wants".

Draw up a contract that you both sign and adhere to. This works great!

Good luck!

Maryanne - posted on 01/16/2014

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Thank you Shawn for your ASAP respond....I will try to do that. I have tried at times but then give up :(

Maryanne

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