Mom's I need your help. I have a step-daughter and she is 8 years old. Her mom sends her to visit with price tags on all of her clothes. This has been going on for at least 5 years now.Why would a mother do that?

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MeMe---(Past And Present) - posted on 07/23/2012

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Zena, how about YOU tell us what you want to hear. Since, we have given several answers and you have yet to accept any of them. You come back with some excuse, instead.



I do have a point. My point is this thread is a waste of time. You aren't looking for an answer. You are looking for others to say "yeah, the Mom is a weirdo".

Suzie - posted on 07/23/2012

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I think there's two ways of looking at this... and this is coming from a mom who purchases nice clothes for her daughter... but continually going through the clothing battle with her dad.

1. Technically.... even though your husband pays child support, there is probably a clause in there that says your husband is responsible for providing clothes during his period of possession. So... this could be her passive agressive way to insinuate that.

2. It could be her way of communicating that she is frustrated about sending nice clothes, and either not getting them back or getting them back ruined.

3. It could be her way of helping you understand your child support isn't going as far as you would like to think considering look "even these cheap clothes added up, cost quite a bit"

4. It could be pointing out her use of his child support money.

5. If its summer, it could be your husbands ex just doesn't want to spend all that much on summer clothes that they just get dirty in....so she bought some cheap new summer clothes and just didn't bother taking the tags off.

I don't really know what her motive is. Theres tone of possibilities. But if you want an idea as to why she is doing it.... your husband has to ask... Or you could ask your step daughter in a casual way. Hey honey, all of these have tags, did Mom take you shopping recently? Its amazing what kids will offer if you ask.

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2012

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I'm confused, which is it? One minute you are saying she's been sending her in clothes with tags for the last 5 years, and now you are saying she was sending her in dirty worn out clothes...... so was that over 5 years ago, then? Or is it that the dirty worn out clothes still have the tags on them because no-one bothered to cut them off?



Anyway, if they aren't fighting about clothes, do they fight about the amount of child support he pays and where it gets spent. Has there been an argument over that at some point. In which case, yeah, I'd say she's trying to prove a point (namely, how expensive it can be to support a child).

Sharlene - posted on 07/23/2012

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@zena, I have not being on for 1/2 days and there's a lot of comments you need to take in and seriously your making a little issue out of something stupid, sorry

MeMe---(Past And Present) - posted on 07/23/2012

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Well, Zena. You have heard and you have yet to like anything that has been said. My point has been proven. ;)

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Sharlene - posted on 07/23/2012

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This is going to be the last time I answer this OP thread ,lol. I think it might be a clothing issue . and if so why don't you and your husband take the little girl and buy clothes for her and have them at your place only ,and when she goes back to her Bio mother's care put the clothes she came over in back on her . But seriously so many mum's have gave you good feed back I don't know what else LMAO

Zena - posted on 07/22/2012

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MeMe I posted because I wanted to hear from other moms. That's why other moms post right? I'm not bashing her, the facts are the facts.

MeMe---(Past And Present) - posted on 07/22/2012

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Well, it appears you already know the answer, then. So, I am unsure of why you posted the question in the first place. We're not going to follow suit and start bashing a lady, we don't know and is not "here on CoM" to defend herself.



Have a great day! ;)

Zena - posted on 07/22/2012

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Thanks MeMe I could certainly understand where you are coming from. You would just have to know her. For 5 years straight though? You should know the size of your child. In my heart I think she is being messy. It's weird and so is she....

MeMe---(Past And Present) - posted on 07/22/2012

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Maybe she does it in case they don't fit. You could then bring them back to the store to exchange. I am not sure if you ever thought of that but I know when my children's grandparents buy them clothes, they leave the tags on, for this very reason. You don't need a receipt to exchange for the correct size. You would simply say it was a gift and that they do not fit and you need to exchange.

Anyhow, this is the only possible reason I could see. Other than because she wants to show she is actually contributing to the childs' clothing. Whether the clothes are cheap or not is a moot point. Not everyone agrees or believes in clothing a young child in expensive clothing. I know I don't. They grow way too fast and they easily ruin their clothes from playing.

Jodi - posted on 07/22/2012

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It is weird. Don't even try to understand it, because there is no possible san reason for doing it :) You could send yourself nuts trying to figure it out!

Zena - posted on 07/22/2012

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I'm not making a big deal about this. I was just curious to hear from other mothers on why a woman would act so childish. They have had discussions about her clothes in the past but not arguments. I was just thinking that after 5 years it would stop. My husband does remove the tags. I just thought it was weird..

Jodi - posted on 07/22/2012

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Yes, but when I asked if they had had an argument about clothes, you said, no, not about clothes. Have they, in the past, had arguments about the amount of child support she gets? Or not even arguments, but *discussions*.

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd just cut the damn tags off and ignore it. I honestly can't explain why she would do it, and I personally wouldn't bother making a big deal over it.

Zena - posted on 07/22/2012

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At first she was sending her with dirty clothes. I believe she was doing this out of spite because me and my husband got married. Now she sends her with price tags on her clothes when she comes to visit. I just think its rather stupid and childish for the mother to do this.

Jodi - posted on 07/22/2012

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Zena, could you please clarify my question for me, because I'm now confused too, and I'm trying to understand the problem so I can help you, but it is quite confusing.

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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Dove,
I think that was rude of you. It was a concern to me so I decided to write about it. Why don't you worry about your situation and stop wasting time on this post. I'm glad you didn't get a degree in counseling. Your advice sucks...Kick rocks with open tow shoes on......

Dove - posted on 07/21/2012

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Ditto Jodi. If this tag thing has been going on for 5 years... when was she being sent over in dirty, worn out clothes?

Sounds like you've got nothing better to do with your time than to pick apart the mother of your stepchild.... Be grateful you don't have more serious issues to deal with here... and find a better use of your time. ;)

Tina - posted on 07/21/2012

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Gross. You're partner needs to be addressing these issues with her. If it's that bad. If she's not going to take notice then I'd be taking it further and seeking legal advice

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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Hey Tina,

She was sending her dirty worn out clothes and her shoes were horrible. She is 8 years old and already has corns on her feet.

Tina - posted on 07/21/2012

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I'd be more concerned if she was sending her in dirty warn out clothes. I know some parents who spend money on their kids buy nice clothes etc only for them to be sent back in crappy warn out clothes and shoes so a good part of their visit is spent looking for something suitable to wear for the stay. Even if they are cheap clothes at least she has brought her clothes no matter what her motive is. The main thing is the kid is clothes her motives shouldn't really be an issue unless she is coming between you and your partner causing strain or harming her child.

Sharlene - posted on 07/21/2012

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Don't let this petty get to you, It's just the Bio mum being spiteful and childish . seriously I agree with dove. good luck

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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Well maybe you have bigger fish to fry, I don't. I was just asking a question. If you felt it was petty, you shouldn't have troubled your fingers to type your response. I thought it was childish so I was asking for opinions.

Dove - posted on 07/21/2012

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We aren't mind readers and don't even know this woman. How is anyone going to give you an accurate motive? We can't and I wouldn't trust anyone that tried to give you a motive of some random woman based off of a brief description from some other random woman.

You don't think clothes tags are petty? Is the child fed, clothed, receiving an education and proper medical care? Is she beat or locked in a room for hours? Does she have BOTH parents actively involved in her life? Yeah, sorry.... clothes tags are petty.

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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I don't feel it's petty. Maybe to you it does, because you are not experiencing it. My point is who cares but I was wondering what is her motive...

Dove - posted on 07/21/2012

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Who cares? If the child is loved and cared for... just cut the tags off and let it go.

I can tell it's bothering you, but in the grand scheme of things this is a super petty complaint.

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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Hi Jodi,
They have never argued over clothing. What I do suspect is that she wants him to think that she is spending the child support properly. The tags comes from really cheap places so that makes me confused about her spending habits. The whole thought drives me crazy!

Jodi - posted on 07/21/2012

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She does this every time? For 5 years? Do she and your partner argue over anything in particular? Like clothes coming home?

Tina - posted on 07/21/2012

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Who knows, but I tell ya there are some pretty lazy parents. I don't think anyone could possibly give you an answer. It's very strange. Maybe she just likes to buy clothes for her before she goes before she goes for her visits.

Zena - posted on 07/21/2012

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I don't have a relationship with her to ask. It's not expensive tags but rather cheap tags. My husband pays her a GREAT deal of support so that's why I'm confused...

Tina - posted on 07/21/2012

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She may just be doing it to make yourself look good. She may be hinting something. The best person to ask is her.

Stifler's - posted on 07/21/2012

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I don't know maybe she just bought them? Cut them off, wash and wear :)

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