Mom the Reject

Leah - posted on 04/12/2016 ( 2 moms have responded )

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so back in 2010 I got a divorce my ex and I have 2 boys, which are now 9 and 10 yrs. old. A messy divorce is a understatement we went through periods of fighting, not to mention custody. Our separation was due to another woman so yes there was a ton of resentment. After a year we had custody settled ( 50/50 joint) and I had moved on. My Ex was now remarried, I tried my hardest to mend things for the boys sake. I figured if everyone could just get along, the boys then could have a good childhood stress free. I have spent 5 years trying. I have given up weeks at a time so the boys can go camping, or to the coast with their father and stepmom, over 40 days logged of my time given away. I have literally asked for them 5 times in 3 years and I got them twice. I waived all back child support owed, actually signed a paper to just let it go. I let the boys change schools because the bus goes right to the end of their drive way. I even offered the boys to them for her birthday.The boys stepmom, wont let me talk to the boys on their weeks. I can only deal with her not my Ex I wasn't even allowed his phone number. She will only text me if I call she wont answer. As I see it she does a lot for the kids so I appreciate her. It seems like every time I make progress with her I step out of my boundaries and we are back to square 1, and by out of boundaries I mean simple parenting things. I will ask why I wasn't included in a meeting, or I will ask to have the boys on my holiday just for the night. simple things I think would be easy to resolve. I'm having a hard time not making things awkward how can I get our communication to be better for all of us. I have read countless books, went to classes, anything I try just seems to piss her off if I actually try to be more involved with the kids. I almost feel like the outsider.

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Leah - posted on 04/12/2016

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Thank you, I have avoided court. Just for the simple fact that its expensive. I'm at my wits end at this point all I can think of is just go to court and revise some things.

Dove - posted on 04/12/2016

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You didn't have children w/ her... you had them w/ your ex. No court would agree that you had to only communicate w/ her and not even have an access number to the father of your children. I understand you were trying to make things easier on your boys and that is admirable, but you really just made things easier on her and your ex and let them manipulate you against court orders (letting go of child support and giving up YOUR court ordered times w/ the kids?!).

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