Mom Vs. Husband.....please help....

Sarah - posted on 03/28/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




In my previous post I had wrote about how my husband left my daughter and I to go back on drugs. Well..he did leave...went down to NC where he is originally from...but didn't go back on the drugs like how he said. He ended up staying with his mother and step-father.

And today was his first day back in Pittsburgh....

My husband and I can't afford our own many bills...we got pregnant early so we have medical bills and just credit cards. I wish I could say the credit card bills were from taking an awesome trip but unfortunately that is not the case. So, with everything going on we have been living with my parents since we moved back from NC almost two years ago. It isn't exactly ideal.

Since we live with my parents....and my husband is back in mom isn't allowing him to live with us at her house anymore. Her house her rules....I wish I could detest it but I can't. There is no win with her. So by husband is currently living out of a motel up the street...that is just basically a room with a toilet and shower. My mother knows financially we can't afford to keep him at the motel....for 4 nights it is costing us about 400 dollars food, because there isn't a microwave or fridge. He has to see his doctor this week to get a release for he can return asap....and he is turning some paperwork in to get an apartment but he knows I am not moving in with him atm...he needs to prove himself to me. But I feel like my mom is taking my situation and turning it into her problem and taking over.

When my husband told me that he was coming home, he said regardless he was going to get his own apartment...that baby and I are more than welcomed to come but he knew that I don't trust him and that he said whenever we would be ready. So down in NC...he made arrangements to meet with a landlord this coming monday for the apartment. I really thought my mom would allow him to stay with us for a few days until he got the apartment. Just to make it a little easier for me financially and all the way around.

We paid my parents was not very much because of all the bills we have, plus having a baby...a lot of times we couldn't afford to pay them.....but we would try to give them extra money if my husband got overtime at work. It was a very difficult situation financially. My mom made the remark to me the other day..."So I guess we arn't going to get rent now from Adrian even though you and Sophia are still here." I honestly wanted to cry my eyes out...I mean for the past month my life has been hell...I am trying to do the best I can do.

I feel very stuck. I love my husband and my mom. What my husband has put me through in the last month has not been fair at's been very hard and hurtful. I don't know where were are going to end up. I wish I could say I was moving in with my husband right away. I love my mom...but she isn't making the situation any easier for I said before she knows we don't have money to keep putting him in the motel and providing all 3 meals out....she knows I we have a daughter to provide for. She knows my husband is getting an apartment so she knows we will need to put down a security deposit...groceries etc. And we still have our bills.

It is a no win situation for me....I don't know what to do...thoughts? anyone...


Jodi - posted on 03/28/2015




I know this is going to sound harsh, but the fact is, your mother still has her bills too and it isn't her job to make things easier for you. You and your husband have made your choices, and it isn't her job to now live with those. YOU are making the choice not to live with your husband (and he made the choice to leave at one point), the consequences for those choices are not your mother's to bear. This is part of being an adult.

I am also not understanding how your mother is turning this into her problem. She is essentially making it clear you aren't to turn YOUR choices into her problem.

Can I ask what it is you want your mother to do? And have you actually tried to sit down and talk to her about this?

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