Mom with a past

Ashley Nicole - posted on 04/10/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I am 24 years old. My son, Daniel will be 3 in May. His Daddy has been in prison almost a full year and has almost 2 more to go. His father and I was addicts for many years. We got in trouble together. He is doing time for that now.Thankfully I had never been in any trouble so I am on Probation now. I have been clean since the arrests. I am living a sober, normal (somewhat normal) life with my amazing son. I regret the year I spent abusing drugs and not being the mother I should have been. I know I can't get that time back but I will and I AM making up for it. Before all of this mess happened even while he was addicted to "something" Daniels dad was always around. We lived together just us three in the mountains away from everything and everyone.His father was always really into being a part of his life and not missing anything. And I could include that I love this man with everything in me and would wait until the end of time if I had to for him. Even if it ment just ment one more day of us all being together as a normal, sober and loving family, he is was a blessing to Daniel and I both and still is even though I can't have contact with him. We have him in our hearts and minds. Now for the question to you mom's out there. His father and I are under a no contact order, so we can't talk at all. No letters, phone calls or by a third party. Daniel talks about his dad everyday, even when I don't mention him for a couple days. It breaks my heart.and I immediately start crying. He will say "I love Daddy" or "Daddy be home one day" at the Most random and unthought of moments. I need some advice on how I should deal with this. What should I say? Should I even be mentioning his Daddy to him? Is this going to mess with my son's mind for the rest of his life? I don't have anyone to turn to but you all, I have no other option. I had to completely cut contact with all my friends in order to stay sober and be the best mom I can be! It's only me and my boy. And I need some help... please. I'm so sorry for the long drawn out description but I am in desperate need for advice. God Bless you all. I pray none of you have to go through what my family is.

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