Mommy with Separation Anxiety during Summer Custody

Mbwalworth - posted on 07/02/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

2

0

1

This is the first time to surrender my children over to their father for his summer custody. My son was mildly excited, but my daughter left crying and screaming and had to be carried away (She is only four and the last two weeks of visitation she has said she doesn't like going to daddy's because he is mean.)

I spent the evening going through piles of things from the end of school and cleaning their room. I cried myself to sleep, dreamt about them at night and started crying when I woke up again. My boyfriend thinks I should call and visit if I feel sad and want to see my kids but I think it may complicate my difficult divorce and I am only a few days away from going to court to "prove up" and change my name. What can I do to help? What can I expect to get better over the course of time? Help me super mommy team. :)

3 Comments

View replies by

Dove - posted on 07/02/2015

11,895

0

1350

You don't get to visit during his visitation time, but you absolutely CAN call and talk to your kids.

As for the rest of it... you get used to it. It's hard to be alone when your kids are usually around, but try and enjoy it.

MaryAnn - posted on 07/02/2015

347

0

17

Custody exchanges can be hard on everybody- especially at first.
First and foremost, i recommend you remind yourself that ypu are human. You are human and you are a mom and its natural to be scared and sad and anxious and in general off.
If you dont have one in place... ask if you could set up a call schedule with them while they are gone. He might not be so receptive, or he might be. He might ask for one while they are woth you. Just breathe.
lastly... remember that you are a full human being while they are gone and do things you normally wouldn't or couldn't if they are home without any guilt. Take an hour long bubble bath. Buy yourself a nice bottle of wine. Go for long late night walks- whatever floats your boat.
When you call your kids, keep in mind that it is new to them, it is a change, they may have plenty of complaints. Dad is not you, but i bet he loves them too. These are feelings they will need to learn to sort out when youre not there- and thats an invaluable lesson.

Elisa - posted on 07/02/2015

2

0

0

Call them and check up on them. I'm sure if he didn't love his kids he wouldn't of made it a point to get them at all. Dads are meant to be more stricter to the kids plus they are always going to be more attached to you! No one is going to love them like their dad plus their just as much his too. Its hard but enjoy the time apart the time apart makes u guys grow stronger.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms